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Watchmen: Fanboys May Rejoice, but What About the Rest of Us?

rorschach Guess I’m starting the flame war then?

Rating: 7 out of 10

The eternal question of any adaptation is, “Should it be done?” Fanboys and critics all over the world continually debate over whether a movie version of a book or graphic novel is a necessary step in the creative process. Will it bring anything new to the story? Is it even allowed to? Will it bring more fans to the work of the original author or will it backfire and cause old school fans to flip their collective lid? When treading into the world of comic book and graphic novel adaptations it is an especially thin line and most studios find themselves in a very pretty, but gilded cage. How much of the original material do they have to keep and how big of a blow-back from the fanboys can they withstand? Add to those normal worries the fact that in this case they are dealing with a piece of original content hailed as “the most celebrated graphic novel of all time“. Yeah, no pressure here. Lucky for Warner Brothers they happen to stumble upon a relatively new up-and-comer, Zack Snyder, who combined with his hyper-stylish visuals, also happened to be a long-time devotee of the original work. Dying to finally film the movie some said could never be done, the deal with the devil was made and the twenty-five year wait came to a close.

I’ve been racking my brain on how to really approach reviewing this film because clocking in at just under three hours, there is a wealth of things to hit, both good and bad. I decided to create a laundry list of items which merit mention and let you just check them off as you scroll on by:

- Zack Snyder: Leaving extremely bloody footprints through the box office with his CGI wonder-slaughter, 300, Snyder truly is the R-rated world’s golden boy. Yet truth be told, he was hired for Watchmen before 300 ever hit the theaters and he won the job purely on his pitch and unshakable loyalty to the property. Unfortunately, this also became his greatest downfall in the creative process. The movie comes off as a picture-in-picture moving version of the graphic novel, almost as if he brought in the book, dropped in front of the Director of Photography and the screenwriters and said, “Here are your storyboards. Do that.” Sure, this makes for an extremely faithful rendition, but it also makes it inherently uninteresting. He let his love for the book and his fear of fanboy retribution sway him from making the necessary changes in the story and visuals to create a more cohesive and enjoyable film. There is a distinct difference between the consumer experience when reading a graphic novel and seeing a movie and Snyder could have done that much better if he remembered which one he was working for.

- Jackie Earle Haley: Welcome to the performance of the year (at least thus far). Haley takes on the role of Rorshach, a sociopath with wildly violent tendencies, but he only uses them against bad people, so it’s totally fine. Working against any actor brave enough to play this part is the nearly constant presence of the identifying inkblot mask of Rorshach, constantly changing, keeping the onlooker off-balance and uncomfortable. Hugo Weaving found himself with similar barriers in his run as V in V for Vendetta and he also found some way to emote and intrigue from behind the lifeless mask. In Watchmen, Haley is terrifying, intimidating and pointedly driven throughout the film and somehow manages to become even more so during the small time when his mask is actually removed. A particular unmasked scene in the jailhouse is hands down the best and most rewarding scene in the film. I’ll boldly compare his effect on lifting this movie into respectability and enjoyment to the effect of Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight. Haley won’t be as revered or remembered by the majority of the cinematic community for this in comparison to Ledger, but without him, Watchmen would have crumbled under the sheer weight of its own scope and depth.

- Dr. Manhattan’s Wang: A picture perfect case of choosing intellectual reasoning over creatively intelligent choices. Snyder made the decision to follow along with the book and have Dr. Manhattan naked for most of the film, so in every scene where he faces the camera and is being shot below the waist, there’s his glowing blue appendage dangling for everyone to see, but for some reason Snyder neglected the fact that in the book Dr. Manhattan is cleverly blocked in virtually every frame when facing out. Now I’m no prude or in any realm of questioning my sexuality, but it’s impossible to not be knocked out of the moment every time it appears. The main reason for that is American audiences are nowhere near as used to seeing that on film as other countries, mostly in Europe. Snyder chose to once again satisfy the small fraction of the fanboy audience instead of recognizing the majority of people who will just find it silly and patently distracting. Almost every review I have seen and commentary from people the moment they walk out of the theater has started the same way, “Well, there’s a lot of blue penis.” Sorry, but if that’s the first thing people are saying coming out of this supposedly legendary story, you have failed in a major way. This also hurts what otherwise would have been a great performance by Billy Crudup, who did nearly the entire film in a motion capture suit. He really delivered on the emotionless void that Dr. Manhattan suffers through due to his ability to control anything he wants, down to its very atoms. One small shred of rational thought in costuming this character would have changed everything and improved the overall experience immensely.

- Tone vs. Style: The graphic novel was acclaimed from the moment it rolled off the press for many reasons, one of which was that it took on a superhero-style storyline without the superhero-style slickness. It is a raw, dark and dank story with colors and tones to match, with the grimy feel of streets filled with the worst and loneliest of human kind. Snyder made a very brave effort to replicate this, but in the world of mega-million dollar studio pictures, getting something with a dirty face out to the public is equal a single contestant running every American Gladiator event back-to-back. What we see in the theater is a type of combination of grit and gloss, seedy and slick, poetic and polished. Snyder walked a very tight tripwire between the two: one to satisfy the fans and the other to satisfy the studio, which in the end leaves the movie a bit imbalanced. It jumps from muted earth tones to reflective latex outfits in the blink of an eye with no hint of a visual segue. Both tones are enjoyable for different reasons, but I think the movie could have been served that much better by a more subtle blending of the two.

- The Ensemble Cast: Snyder made a good choice by not trying to lure in huge A-list actors here. Their presence would have only distracted from the content of the story and overwhelmed the already tenuous balance of personality over presence. I’ve already raved about the spectacular effort of Jackie Earle Haley as Rorshach and touched on Billy Crudup’s valiant stroke at overcoming the distraction of his own genitalia, but the rest of the cast was a bit of a mixed bag. Jeffery Dean Morgan tackled the sadistic and grizzled character of The Comedian, who in a certain respect is part of the tag-team catalyst of the story, along with Rorshach. Morgan really plays the part well, just egging the audience into a seething hatred of his presence, but he suffers just a touch from under-explanation. Even with the weight of all the flashbacks in the beginning, Morgan feels slightly one-dimensional, though that single dimension is played with vigor and flair. Malin Akerman slips into the skin tight suit of Silk Spectre II (the original Spectre, her mom, being played in a handful of scenes by Carla Gugino). Once again the part was portrayed well, but suffers even worse under-development. Where Malin actually succeeds is not while donning the latex fantasy of teenage boys the world over, but during her scenes as the normal, non-ass kicking Laurie Jupiter. Her tenderness and need for that same emotion in return is what pulls her through this epic tale. Patrick Wilson also has a better time playing his daytime persona of Dan Dreiberg versus his ridiculously clad Nite Owl II persona. Wilson captures the weakness and self-loathing of a man who feels he should be above the desire to run around as a costumed vigilante and fight for justice, but once he gives into that addiction his Nite Owl persona feels less than authentic. In the realm of the costumed vigilantes the only total miscue is the casting of Matthew Goode as Ozymandias. What should have come off as suave assuredness and blatant cockiness instead rang more like intellectual smugness wrapped in a fairly effeminate blanket. Basically, the actor playing Ozymandias should have been bigger and more manly. Throughout the film he never delivered the emotional threat or physical intimidation he needed to and by the time the credits roll the character just feels void instead of reluctantly classified as a hero.

One last note, I can’t even begin to fathom how someone wraps their head around having $150 million dollars to plays with while making a film, but Snyder needed to go back, grab some of the budget from flame effects and three-dimensional titles and toss it back at the hair and makeup department. Ranging from Akerman’s wig to the shoddy aging effects on Carla Gugino, the overall makeup efforts on the film were laughable. The one thought running through my head while watching some of those terrible examples was, “Did they get the same makeup people from The Reader?” (You should be imbuing here that I thought Kate Winslet’s aging effects were equally terrible. Oh, I checked, they were totally different makeup crews. There goes that theory.)

Recommendation: Even with all my nit-picky bitching over certain elements, Snyder proved all the naysayers wrong. They all railed for years that Watchmen could never be made as a movie and Snyder did just that. I’m just not sure it was the best one that could have been made. Even so, I enjoyed it and plan on seeing it once more to help clarify my feelings for it (this time in IMAX) and in that vein I can easily say this is one film everyone should go see and make up their own minds. There is a lot to chew on, so don’t fill up at the concession stand.

Posted 1 year ago at 10:21 am.

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Fame whore to Facebook whore: A day in the life of…(4/22)

1 – It does seem you can push the envelope too far, at least when you’re attending an Ivy League school. The Yale student made infamous by her claim to have done her senior art project by artificially inseminating herself, then taking all-natural supplements to force homegrown abortions, has now been told by the authorities of the University that her project will not be shown under any circumstances unless she comes forward to admit that it is a hoax. If this girl wanted to spur discussion, she’s done it, but I think she missed the mark since most of the talking is about how unethical and retarded she is. Whoops.[via Perez]

2 – Time for the comedy crush to set in. Amy Poehler talks to Letterman about peeping window washers and their disdain for “her work”. [via Defamer]

3 – Honestly, this is exactly what happens when I try to grow a beard. I was just not meant to be an English professor, Mountain dweller or Harley bike rider. [via Garfield Minus Garfield]

4 – Some people talk about becoming a parent in poetic terms like, “It felt like a baby just fell into my arms.” Well, this postal carrier happens to be a tad bit more literal minded, since a baby really did fall into her arms out a second story window. [via CNN]

5 – Are you sitting there wondering, “Man, I want to play Rock Band, but I can’t choose which instrument to play. What oh what can I do?” Worry no more, this t-shirt named Rocktopus shows you the way to the promised land of solo Rock Band bliss. [via iloveyourshirt]

6 – As humorous as this is, this video showing the current Democratic race as a running montage of scenes from the Rocky films actually still ends up being inspirational. I think Obama should pick it up and use it today in the PA primary. Time for Hillary to go down for the count. [via GorillaMask via MilkandCookies]

7 – Ever wanted to make a fake commercial and get it played on the big screen? Well, Zack Snyder is giving you the chance to do that. The winners of this contest will get their commercials played on the TV screens in the background of his new movie, The Watchmen. [via ComingSoon]

8 – I always wondered what vampire hunters would hunt if there were no vampires around. Now I know (and that’s just half the battle…). [via CollegeHumor]

9 – When the Presidential candidates start pandering to the professional wrestling voting block, not only have you jumped the shark, but you’ve yanked it out of the water, punched it in the nose and forced it to watch reruns of Family Matters for three days in a row. None of those are nice things to do. [via Starpulse]

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10 – This is not a link or a tidbit of pop culture phenomenon, this is a warning. Facebook is a drug. There, i’ve said it. One step down, eleven more to go…

Posted 1 year, 11 months ago at 10:19 am.

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