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A Glimpse Behind the Fog of Hope and Hate

I promise to do whatever my political party says, in right and in wrong, till death do us part

I can hear it now rumbling in the back closet, rocking back and forth with one broken foot, that same one I’ve been meaning to fix for two hundred years:

The Political Spin Machine

…and it’s going full steam.

With the election of Republican wunderkid, Scott Brown, the troops on the right are doing everything they can to convince Democrats across the nation that every progressive and liberal policy currently being proposed now has as much chance of succeeding as Conan O’Brien ever doing a show on NBC again. Yet, let’s take a good close look at what really happened yesterday and see if we can’t find a way to help each party find its way back to some type of ethical center.

By electing Scott Brown, Massachusetts brought the Democratic majority in the Senate down by exactly one. They dropped from 60 to 59 and while many will bemoan the loss of the filibuster proof majority, what they neglect to mention is the filibuster proof majority never really existed because of those Democrats in the Senate referred to as “Blue Dogs”, or more conservative-leaning voters. The squelching of the filibuster happened only once, which was to finally push the Health Care bill out of the Senate, and the reparations the liberal Democrats had to make in order to secure those Blue Dog votes over the filibuster helped to shape a bill that virtually no one is pleased with. So the idea that Scott Brown’s inclusion in the Senate will suddenly destroy the happy-go-lucky hand-holding going on in the left leaning side of the chamber just shows how little the right side actually pays attention to what is going on.

This is nothing more than a scare tactic to frighten the left and encourage the right, but I honestly believe the right has more to fear from Scott Brown than the left. Republicans think his election is a repudiation of Democratic policies and of Obama himself, but in fairness I believe he was chosen more out of frustration of continued record unemployment ratings and a growing disappointment from independents who let themselves believe the Obama hype machine during his campaign. I’m not knocking Obama, I voted for him as well, but people seemed to forget he is just one guy inside a government machine built by money, power and massive special interests. He has made many changes already, in demonstrably record time, but people on Main Street won’t feel the effects of those until much later. The change some people was hoping for was much more than he could ever achieve in such a short amount of time. Remember, his one-year anniversary as President was yesterday!

Scott Brown also comes in claiming he is ushering in a “new type of Republican”, which in other terms means “time for the old guys to move on out.” Let’s see how well that plays out in the polls come mid-term time. Anyone coming in preaching change to the “old way of politics” is a danger to anyone currently sitting, Republican or Democrat.

Now, while watching Mr. Brown gloat over his seemingly amazing win, I can’t say I’m incredibly impressed with him or how he handles himself (check this little moment of pimping out his daughters at his acceptance speech), but I wasn’t all that enchanted by his opponent, Martha Coakley, either. This is where people need to help usher in a real and tangible sense of change. We need to start looking beyond the party name and look at the actual person. As unattainable as it might sound, filled with pretty rhetoric and uplifting oratory, I agree with Obama when he stumps for the goal of bi-partisanship, but I want to take it one step farther. “Bi-partisanship” alludes to the idea of two parties getting along, but what about “tri-partisanship”? Actually, we do have one Independent senator (wave to the nice Internet folks, Mr. Barney Frank of VT). What about “quad-partisanship”? The Tea-Partier’s are about to host their own conference, so who will deny they have a chance to get their own candidate on a ticket and not be forced to list them as Republican? I’m a good distance off from supporting anything currently coming out of the tea-party caucus, but I fully encourage their right to not affiliate with either dominating party. My belief is if we breakdown the powerhouse parties the American populace would be forced to learn more about who they are voting for instead of just checking whether their was an “R” or a “D” next to their name.

An informed populace is an absolute necessity of any great democracy and it’s time that we as members of that populace bore some responsibility for that.

Health Care Debate Without the Actual Debate

Now turn your head and cough up $75. It’s for your deductible.

Anything worth doing is worth fighting for, but no one ever said the fight was going to be fair. Nothing in the current political climate proves that case better than the repulsive, divisive and downright irresponsible tactics being employed day after day by those against the proposed health care reform package put forward by President Obama.

Before I get any further, let me be frank and fully admit my own shortcomings. I have not read the full bill being supported by Obama. After doing a number of searches online for a copy of the bill all I could find were cut-down versions or ones rewritten as “plain-English” translations by people with their own agendas. Without getting the exact words from the bill itself I don’t feel any of the “laymen” versions are fully trustworthy (especially since most of those demonize the plan anyway without pointing back to the original language as examples). Yet with all the coverage being given to this debate from all around the political spectrum, I feel fine in pointing out some rather glaring hypocrisies being badly hidden by the raucous and rambunctious opponents of health care reform.

There are a wide number of issues to discuss, but I’m going to focus on one of the most talked about and absolutely least intrinsically important lightning rods inside the fight, the so-called “death panels”. Sounds scary, right? Does it bring images of judge’s benches built way too high specifically to make you seem insignificant in the eyes of the law and the people who run it? Then do you picture yourself being wheeled in front of said bench only to hear from robed faceless politicians that you are too sick to make continued care efficient for the economy, so the lever is pulled and you are essentially dropped out of existence? That is what the fear-mongering conglomerates on the right would like you to dream about at night, specifically so you will wake up on the day of your local town hall meeting and race out with your pitchfork held high and the light of your torch lighting the way.

Trouble is, there are no “death panels”. Nope. None at all. The tiny piece of legislation inside the 1,000 page bill which is being referenced for this demonic fantasy actually says that under the new government sponsored plan they would reimburse you for an appointment with your own doctor if you chose to have a counseling session about end of life decisions and setting up a living will. That is all. No death panel, no politician having any say what-so-ever about “pulling the plug on Grandma” as Sen. Grassley keeps touting. It is simply a small payment covered by your insurance policy for an appointment to let you talk to your very own doctor about how you would like to face that most difficult of decisions. The impact to the health care industry and its costs comes from the fact that thousands and thousands of people are kept on life support systems for many, many years with no hope of recovery and costing their families and the economy millions and millions of dollars. Studies have shown that an increasing number of seniors would choose not to have their life end with them lying in a hospital with wires and tubes protruding from every part of their fragile bodies. More and more are choosing to die at home, with their families, surrounded by loved ones and with a higher sense of dignity.

Before anyone decides to challenge the validity of the sentiment, my mother died just under four years ago from brain cancer. The moment she was diagnosed and it was made quite clear by the doctors that her condition was fatal and incurable, she immediately got paperwork going for a living will. She had no intention of wasting away hooked to a machine and due to her diligence and forward thinking she was able to spend her remaining weeks at home surrounded by a constant rotation of friends, family and loved ones. The living will also takes the onus and pressure off of the families. End of life decisions are terrible and painful to make and without the expressed sentiment of the actual patient, families have been completely torn apart. Let’s not forget just a few years back with the tragic case of Terri Schiavo. She was completely brain dead and her husband felt he knew Terri’s feelings about being alive solely based on life support, so he wanted to have her machines turned off so she could die naturally. Terri actually had a “do not resuscitate” order in place, but the medical staff at her hospital convinced her husband early in her treatment to have it rescinded. Years later, after no improvement at all, he tried to have the order re-enacted. Her family was dead set against that decision and felt prayer and God’s will would bring her back from her vegetative state. It turned into one of the most contentious court battles over the “right to die” in history.

The main reason why this case is of supreme importance to the current health care debate is the very people who are screaming and rallying over the purported offense of having the government step in and interfere in the intimate family-only decision of when and how a loved one should die, those people were on the forefront of the government effort to stop Terri’s husband and keep her alive. In that case they said it was their moral and ethical right to step in as the government of all people and help ensure the safety of one of their own. The President of the United States at the time, George W. Bush, actually came back from a vacation early just so he could sign a piece of legislation urging the Supreme Court to rule on the side of denying Terri’s previous wishes.

So you see, when stepping in supports what the right wing wants, the family and their heart-rending decisions have no place in front of the government desire. Yet when stepping in does not support their desire – which in the overall case it doesn’t because it will lessen the money flowing into the pockets of the health insurance agencies – now the government should keep their damn hands off our grandmothers. The hypocrisy is brighter and more apparent than a first grader’s coloring book.

The idea of educating and supporting the furthering of “advance care directives” or living wills, which now makes so many on the right sick to their stomachs since it is really a plot by Obama to kill old people (true statement from health care reform opponents), was once touted and rallied for by those exact same people. In 2003, tucked nicely inside the prescription drug reform package, was a very familiar sounding piece of legislation which actually pooled a percentage of funds to educating more people on living wills and even offering early consultation services as part of the drug plan package. That prescription drug package was sent up, voted on and widely passed by the current Republican majority of 2003 and celebrated by then President Bush as a major success for the health of our wise and venerated citizens.

For those concerned about the changes being talked about, please read between the lines and find out where the scary nightmares are actually coming from when they are being screamed and bellowed at these surprisingly camera-ready impromptu protests. These are all made up of random concerned citizens. A percentage of them, not all, but certainly some, are bought and sold mobs funded by the right wing special interests whose pockets are lined with millions from the health insurance industry and drug manufacturers. The people with the most money to lose are the ones feeding the hysteria, because this is the nightmares they see when they sleep. Dark dreams of years without $11 million dollar bonus and a gloomy “For Sale” sign posted on the lawn of one of many summer homes in the Hamptons.

This is a fight to help the common citizen. Don’t be blindfolded with the dollar bills of the rich.

Follow this link to find out the truth about what’s really in the reform bill: HealthReform.gov

Also, if you would like to help or support the foundation set up in memory of Terri Schiavo, click here.

Selling Sets to Securing Stoltz: A day in the life of…(5/14)

1 – Taking a cue from the old days of television, the CW network has actually sold off the 3-hour primetime block of Sunday night to a media company, which will then pair up with an advertising company to develop and produce content. The commercials will actually own that block of time. I’m thinking we’re in for a mega-block-variety show featuring all the amazing things we can do the cup holders in the new Kia Sophia. Or something equally inane. [via Variety]

2 – This is one way to get rid of that pesky carpel tunnel syndrome, but on the down side, typing in UP+UP+DOWN+DOWN+LEFT+RIGHT+LEFT+RIGHT+B+A+START really fast is so much harder than it used to be. [via GorillaMask via Gizmodo]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c3q9K4cHzY]

3 – Those are the mornings when I crawl back under the covers all day. [via Garfield Minus Garfield]

4 – If the board game Life actually told the truth about your future, it might sound a little more like this. [via CollegeHumor]

5 – As if you needed another reason to want to see Wall-E, this years undoubted award winner for most adorable movie ever made, you can trek on over to the Wall-E website and build your own little cutesy creature. I swear, if this movie is as good as I think it will be, I might just marry it. I’m sure there’s a state I can do that legally in… [via ComingSoon]

6 – Even with the already predicted crushing win for Clinton in West Virginia last night, high ranking Democrats are getting louder about Clinton bowing out gracefully before June. I think they should point her to this website where wishes and dreams of the masses are shown for what will happen when Obama wins in November. Admittedly these are all said in jest, but the tone is legit. [via Tcritic via kottke]

7 – Nintendo is opening the doors to independent developers to add to their little wonder platform in the unveiling of WiiWare. This could definitely give Nintendo and edge since they will have constantly fresh and new content that will very likely be way outside the box. With that said, who gonna buy me one now? [via Starpulse]

8 – David Byrne, the wacky genius behind the band Talking Heads, is getting ready to take musical instrumentation to another level as he retrofits an entire building to play music. Knowing my luck, his premier musical interlude will happen when I am on a long winded customer service call with some dude on the seventh floor. [via Starpulse]

9 – Van Damme + Canne Film Festival = Hell Freezing Over. [via Film School Rejects]

10 – For the Battlestar Galactica fans out there, of which I am certainly one, get yourselves excited for the upcoming Caprica TV show because the indie-film icon himself, Eric Stoltz, has signed on. This is raising the bar, my friends. I smell Emmy nominations…[via ComingSoon]

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Joker Dolls to Human Jokes: A day in the life of…(5/13)

1 – I’m pretty sure these dolls would have done well without the tragedy connected to it, but most likely not to such a quick extent. The new Joker dolls from the upcoming film, The Dark Knight, have sold out within minutes. They are incredibly accurate to Heath Ledger’s rendition of the character and I feel that many people are buying the action figure as an homage to the late actor than to the movie itself. I might get one if I can find it. He can hang out with my growing posse of Jeff Goldblum action figures, that is, if he can stand the overly intellectual conversations they have. [via Perez Hilton]

2 – Today the polls opens in West Virginia and Clinton is heavily favored to win there, but let’s be honest here, the state has 28 delegates and she’s down by over a hundred. She’ll take the state, but since the Democratic party plays with split states she still won’t get all 28 delegates. Obama is actually spending the day in Missouri since that is a critical swing state in the general election. The death knell is ringing for Clinton, but she’s plugged her ears with another $6 million dollars from her own bank account. Her complete lack of common sense anymore and stubborn pride in the face of damaging her own party is starting to feel familiar…oh, yeah, just like Bush. [via CNN]

3 – At what point do we start calling our country stupid? How about when we let things get to a point where it costs more to mint our change than the change is actually worth? Yeah, that’s a good marker for stupidity. [via CNN]

4 – Somehow I think this lock has a better record of locking people in instead of out. [via swissmiss]

5 – A 13-year-old girl committed suicide recently and she left a number of references in her last writings to her favorite band, My Chemical Romance. My heart goes out to her family and friends in dealing with their loss, but it also goes out to the band, who I actually am no huge fan of. The problem is people will begin once again to attack the “emo” kids and the music they listen to as promoting depression and teenage suicide. It’s Judas Priest all over again. Music can make you feel things, it can bring happiness or allow you to experience pain and sadness, but getting to the level of suicide will always and forever be the mark of something a lot deeper than someone playing Track 4 on loop. [via Starpulse]

6 – With a global population that has almost doubled in the last 70 years, this story about a woman with 18 kids comes off as horribly irresponsible. You want that many kids, you want a big family, start adopting! [via Perez Hilton]

7 – Word has it that Viggo Mortensen is in line to star in a sequel to Dances with Wolves. It has been a damn long time since Costner won his awards and acclaim for that film and while I think Viggo is a fine casting choice, do we really need a sequel? Was anyone really sitting around wondering, “What ever happened to that guy? You know, the dude who said “Tatanka” and ran around the fire a lot?”. [via Starpulse]

8 – On the flip side of the sequel coin, going into production soon is Donnie Darko 2, which will follow the story of Donnie’s little sister after the ending of the first film. While I may not have been wondering what became of Donnie’s family, the movie was interesting enough and created a unique type of world that I wouldn’t mind visiting it one more time. Plus, who doesn’t want more scary seven foot bunnies? [via Perez Hilton]

9 – Universal just saved Bioshock from becoming one more tragedy in the Uwe Boll franchise. The amazingly cinematic and creepy video game will be directed by Gore Verbinski, making it instantly one of the most highly anticipated video game transitions on the table. [via Film School Rejects]

10 – While the intention might be worthwhile, Kim Kardashian and her sisters have only succeeded in making one of the most offensive and blatantly uncaring PSA commercials in the world, which is impressive considering the ones from Canada where they are actually burn people alive to get their point across. Crazy canucks. [via WWTDD]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e0dJ6U_X_E]

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Sarcastic Squirrel to Super Spoon Design: A day in the life of…(5/2)

1 – Foamy is back to take on cell phones users and car commercials, two things that are guaranteed to find you each day just because you woke up. [via ill will press]

2 – I would say I loved the tenacity of this wanna-be criminal, but it could also be a cover for sheer stupidity. This young man went into a bank and tried to cash a check for $360 billion dollars. There is one word that will never be used to describe this attempt at check fraud: subtle. [via Perez Hilton]

3 – Critics and fans of David Blaine can debate throughout the night and day about his demeanor, tactics and overdramatization of his stunts, but the man gets results. He went on Oprah earlier this week and accomplished his goal of beating the world record for holding your breath at a stunning time of 17 minutes and 4 seconds. Frankly, someone who can not breathe for that amount of time scares the crap out of me. He now is added to the list of scary things, right above Flava Flav. [via Starpulse]

4 – The ITunes you will now be able to buy or rent new movies on the very same day it hits the shelves in all major stores. Coincidentally, you will also be able to start ordering pizza, popcorn, math homework and human companionship though ITunes on a sliding scale of pricing. Welcome to your “I”xistence. [via Variety]

5 – Iron Man is just hitting the theaters today, but the weekend predictions of it hitting upwards of $75 million in box office have got the studios already planning for the sequel. If they bring in Mandarin as the next villain, I might just spontaneously combust with joy, which is a messy process, trust me.[via ComingSoon]

6 – I hope this is a demonstration of talent and not a real game, because if my opponent starting beating me this badly, I think I might swallow the ping-pong ball as a more honorable way to die. [via Pandachute]

7 – What would go on inside a therapy session with all the main cereal mascots? Now you know. Also, it’s about someone challenged that damn Cap’n Crunch on exactly where he got his commendation from. I wanna see papers, Cap’n! [via CollegeHumor]

8 – Rev. Wright has caused the Obama campaign a ton of heartache and trouble since he was shown to go on racist and violent rants against America and her values. He claims that we are still a racist country. Somehow I think the way to help ease his worries over that subject or maybe discredit his argument has nothing to do with going on national television and call him an “uppity n****r”. Thanks Matthew Modine for once again giving people a reason to tell all actors to shut up and look pretty. [via Starpulse]

9 – Just so we’re clear, Robert Downey Jr. really likes to throw scripts at walls. It helps him think. [via Defamer]

10 – With this stroke of genius you will never find yourself again wanting for that lsat bit of Key Lime yogurt at the bottom of the disposable cup. Those extra few drops of anti-oxidants and food cultures are surely going to put you over the edge from “sedentary mass” to “healthy, active demi-god”. [via swissmiss]

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Clinton clings to Curious George: A day in the life of…(4/23)

1 – Unfortunately, Clinton won just big enough for her to stay in the race and claim logic and reason. Many polls showed Obama losing by 5% – 6%, but in the end it was a 10% victory for Clinton and she needed that to be able to claim a “double digit win”. Now we are going to be subjected to anoter two weeks of word twisting, over-hyping and sparkling illusions from her camp claiming that she is the only candidate able to beat McCain, which flies in the face of every major poll showing Obama winning in the general election, if only by a slight margin. I find it ironic that the Democratic party kicked and screamed eight years ago about the popular vote being the voice of the people and that is what we should listen to and now one of the most powerful members of that party is saying exactly the opposite, that we should ignore the fact she is losing the popular vote and elect her solely based on the fact she wants to win really bad. If McCain wins in November, history will look back on this race and blame Clinton for doing the impossible, handing the Republicans another Presidency. [via CNN]

2 – Marketing for the new Indy film goes above and beyond. No longer just new wrappers for candy, but actually new versions and flavors of the confectionery standards like Snickers and M&M’s. I don’t know what they mean in the description for the new Snickers bar about “exotic spices” inside, but if I open one up and a bright white light shoots out and turns me to dust, I am requesting my money back. [via Film School Rejects]

3 – Some things are just funnier when said through the mouth of old men, like this video about an “Anti-Earth day” holiday. If he just adapts his message a little from “eating rocks” to “eating rock candy”, I think I could sign up for this. [via GorillaMask]

4 – Britain’s Got Talent, the show that already launched the opera career of one unassuming cell phone salesman, now seems on the brink of doing it again, but this time with a shy, bullied-too-much, thirteen year old boy. Watch the video and I dare you not to get chills from the kid’s voice. [via Pandachute]

5 – This is hopefully just another media blitz illusion by Trump the Puppetmaster, but people are beginning to talk about O.J. Simpson being on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice. I could rant and rage about how wrong and unethical this would be and a black mark on NBC, a company fighting to gain fan appreciation and respect once again, but I’m sure my fingers would spontaneously combust from typing to fast and being fueled by the burning ridiculousness of the proposal. [via The Superficial]

6 – It’s amazing that the common level of intelligence in our society has prompted the need for a “smart toaster“. Following nicely on this will be the “smart water boiler”, “smart blinking machine” and “smart smart machine creator” which will indeed take over the world. [via Uncrate]

7 – It takes serious balls to call your movie Young People F*cking and I am sure that somewhere in the film we will be shown that very pair of balls. Oh, the end of the trailer is precious. [via Film School Rejects]

8 – If I were sitting in my office one day, thinking to myself, “Now that I have populated the world with such fine cinema as Showgirls, Starship Troopers and Hollow Man (among other random good films), what should I do now?” If that were me I can be fairly sure my answer would be nowhere close to this one provided by Paul Verhoven: “Make a movie saying the Virgin Mary was raped and that’s where Jesus came from. Oh, and Judas was a cool dude too.” [via FilmDrunk]

9 – This is surely one of those times when the meaning is lost in the translation, right? [via GorillaMask]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu_so46UpmI]

10 – Life lesson: Curious George should probably be just a little less curious because in the real world his antics would probably rank somewhere in the billions of dollars of damage. Crazy monkey.

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Clinton’s fuzzy memories

In a continuing effort to put herself out in front of Obama, Hillary spoke at a press conference and referenced a visit she had to Bosnia in a manner speaking to her battle ready nature, something she criticizes Obama for not having experience with. Well, seems she should have thought a little harder about whether a CBS news crew was actually with her on that trip before she started bragging about the “sniper fire” and “no greeting ceremony” that she had to struggle through. Check out the video and witness the blatant lies for yourself.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BfNqhV5hg4]

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Make the time to listen to this: A More Perfect Union

Here’s the video of Obama’s most recent speech. If we don’t elect him as our new President, it will be a national tragedy.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWe7wTVbLUU]

Daily Musings 3/11

1 – Thankfully for the fans of the tragically late Heath Ledger, it was just announced that they are back in production for the last film he was working on The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus and they will be leaving all his footage involved and intact. Jude Law, Johnny Depp and Colin Farrell will also be stepping in to take over the rest of the role, but no CGI, no re-cutting to make unshot scenes work. His last performance will be shown to us as Heath and Terry Gilliam intended it. [via Starpulse]

2 – More celebs have added their voices to the protesting of hate crimes like the one that happened mere weeks ago. [via Perez Hilton]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UpYC4DSDn0]

3 – Improv Everywhere, the group behind the people frozen in time inside Grand Central Station, are back with an impromptu musical inside a Los Angeles mall food court. I would have bought this hook, line and sinker if I didn’t actually attend acting class with one of the guys (the janitor, good singer too).

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkYZ6rbPU2M]

4 – Growing up, I don’t know how many times I said to my pals, “Gee, Predator is just such an awesome film. I only wish I could express the excitement and story of it through British Rap.” Today, one of my childhood dreams has come true. [via GorillaMask]

5 – Hellion on heels, Ann Coulter, has spoken out saying Obama should do the respectful thing and step down from the race. Her reasoning is that Hillary has won three primaries in a row (she doesn’t count Vermont because it was earlier in the day). My main confusion is why she wasn’t asking Hillary to step down after losing eleven primaries in a row. 11!? Evidently Ann likes to push the stereotype that women are running around shopping while muttering, “Math is hard.” [via Perez Hilton]

6 – Ummmm…Stunt Rock is actually a Public Service Announcement for all the things you should never, ever do. This includes: hitting people with your car, jumping off buildings and dressing like a wizard during a rock concert. [via Dave]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXNBS4WqyX8]

7 -  In the first piece of good news to come out of the new Terminator project, they are officially dumping the “Salvation” portion of the title. Now we should keep our fingers crossed hoping this will lead to more things being dropped, like McG. [via FilmDrunk]

8 -  What happens when you make a worldwide phenom viral video campaign like Ask a Ninja? You win the rights to write and direct the remake everyone has been clamoring for: The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! Oh yes, once more our silver screen streets will be overrun by the seeds of discontent from the mutant garden. Let’s see if the remake can launch another Hollywood legend like George Clooney (technically he was in the sequel, Return of the Killer Tomatoes, but let’s not split hairs). [via Hollywood Reporter]

9 -  The time has come to finally buy the one item we have wanted since birth. Can someone just loan me $5,500 for it? [via Uncrate]

10 – This was too adorable not to post: [via Swissmiss]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmblVE2EC9w]

Bonus: Just because this was their top post this morning: [via Swissmiss]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoiFGva_JoY]

Daily Musings 3/5

1 – The primaries last night were not the slam dunk we were hoping for on the Obama train, but the Clinton marketing engine has failed to derail us in any fashion. Obama is still ahead in the delegate count because in Texas she failed to take it by any size-able amount, meaning the delegates are fairly evenly split. While watching the coverage last night it was mentioned that there was a flowchart sent out very early on in the race between Obama and Hillary that laid out every primary and caucus and which ones they predicted Obama would take. Amazingly this document is being hailed like a Nostradamus doctrine since it’s been nearly on the nose the whole time. It predicted the loss in Ohio, the close shave in Texas and had Obama winning 10 straight in a row up to this point (it failed to believe he would win in Maine, which he did, giving him 11 in a row). So if those palm reading folks continue putting their faith in this chart, Obama will still come out ahead when the votes are all tallied up with crucial wins in the final primaries. I hope they’re right because I am someone that does want to see things change and Hillary is unfortunately showing herself to be more of the same politics we’ve had for the last 24 years.

2 – The Onion, the fake news network, is coming out with their own movie in shiny straight to DVD fashion. Kudos to Steven Seagal for being able to parody himself in what could be his best performance ever. [thanks, FilmDrunk]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-u8oyZAgeY]

3 – There is a video of this floating around, but I refuse to post it here. A US Marine is under verbal fire today, instead of literal fire, for having a fellow soldier videotape him throwing a small living puppy over the side of a cliff. I understand that war can have detrimental effects on people’s mental state and cause them to do things they would normally never do, but most of those instances come in times of intense stress and combat. This was one soldier goofing off with another and tossing a helpless animal over a cliff. Word coming out of the Marine top brass is that they are hugely disappointed and that most Marines conduct themselves with honor and respect. They are pulling together all the pertinent information now to decide what to do with this soldier, but my opinion is solidly that this person be dishonorably discharged from the Marines immediately. We have obviously been in such a rush to fill up the ranks of our Armed Forces that we are letting people in who are not there to defend our honor and our country, but people who just want to play with guns, flex their muscles and expel cruelty where they see fit. Let’s see the Marine Corps try to make a booster commercial out of that story. [via CNN]

4 – Rumors are flying around the net this morning that our favorite bouncer and dirty dancer, Patrick Swayze, is battling a very serious form of Cancer and has mere weeks to live. I desperately hope he is not as bad off as they say. Swayze may not be an Oscar winning talent, but he has helped bring about some of the greatest popcorn flicks in history. Road House not only provides some of the most hilariously violent fight scenes in history, but it also continues to serve as a measuring point for any relationship I might get into. If the girl I am interested in does not like Road House and giggle themselves silly watching it, we’re doomed from the start. But that’s only the beginning for Swayze, he also helped to bring us Ghost, The Outsiders (my personal favorite movie), Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing, Next of Kin, Point Break, Too Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar and Donnie Darko. Can you imagine a happy and fulfilling life without those movies. I think not. So my thoughts and good vibes are going out to you, Dalton. May you tear Cancer’s throat out.

5 – These people have way too much time on their hands, but also way to much genius to be contained. Please enjoy, Michael Jackson’s Punch Out: [via GorillaMask via The Panda Page]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILjJDcI2Em8]

6 – The one man who did so much to bring fictional and fantastical lives to those who had none in reality has just passed away. Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons & Dragons, died Tuesday at 69 years old after a long battle with a variety of health problems. I was also one of those role playing kids, covering my dining room table with battle charts, dice graphs and miniature pewter figures that I would hand paint and detail myself. Admittedly I branched out from D&D pretty quickly into other system I felt work more expansive, like Marvel and G.U.R.P.S, but somehow I think that admission just made me more of a dork than before. Oh well. Gary helped to ignite the world of role playing and the nerds, geeks, dweebs and closet cool kids of the world owe him a debt of gratitude for that. You rolled a true 100, Gary. Thanks for the memories.  [via CNN]

7 – In my mind Robert Downey Jr. can do no wrong on film (not making any claims about his personal life), but doing a role of a role in blackface? Our boy might be straying from the land of logic just a touch. Luckily, Iron Man will come out before this controversial role and we will all get to experience the full gooey excitement over the comic book extravaganza. [via FilmDrunk]

8 -  The Pearl Jam parody rendition of “Old MacDonald’s Farm” is one of the joys of my life: [via Pandachute]

Kids Rock

9 – The Dragonball Z live action adaptation is being pushed from this year until 4/3/09. Some reports are claiming it is because the release weekend was getting too crowded with other big ticket fare. My thought is they had no real idea how long it was going to take to animate all those crazy diagonal lines every time someone jumped in the air. Also, the budget for blond super spiky hair gel has skyrocketed.  [via ComingSoon]

10 – What’s that you say? You want more Touhou videos!? Well here you go, it’s Hot Pockets time:

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=Foem5yG_WYo&feature=related]