One of these guys already saw wardrobe that morning, the other just showed up to set. Guess which is which.
Rating: 7 out of 10
Summertime is a wonderful season for hiding from the baking, burning heat inside a cool, dark theater and being transported to endless imaginative worlds. Sometimes these worlds can be overwhelmingly complex and force you to think deeply about everything going on, and those create a very particular kind of enjoyment, but the season of the sun seems to lean more towards movies that allow you to put your brain on cruise control, sit back, sip your Coke and try not to smile. This recent cinematic offering is definitely one of those.
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice follows the story of a young man, Dave, who finds out at too young an age that he is chosen by destiny to become an all-powerful sorcerer for the side of good in a millennia-long battle for the safety of the world. His mentor, Balthazar, does his best to prepare him for the upcoming battles, while also keeping Dave’s focus off the one thing impossible to resist, love.
This popcorn presentation is brought to us from the minds at Disney who seem hell-bent on plunging the depths of the Mouse House catalog for anything and everything that could be transformed into a full-length feature film. The title of the film is taken from the famous scene in Fantasia where Mickey Mouse enchants all the mops, brooms and assorted cleaning products to do his chores for him. That moment is directly lifted up and dropped into this live-action semi-adaptation, and actually fits surprisingly well, but the rest of the story is completely fresh, at least where previous Disney stories are concerned. I can’t blame Disney for their addiction to recycling, it certainly worked well with their multi-million dollar Pirates franchise, but I don’t see this one landing as well with audiences and certainly very little in terms of continuing sequels.
Now, before I get into where the movie takes its many missteps, let me engage you on why I still gave it a fairly high ranking. Jay Baruchel is truly riding the roller-coaster of success right now and while some may complain that he is typecast and plays virtually the same person in each film, the same can be said of Steve Carell and many others. If they play the part well, let them play on. Baruchel epitomizes the adorably awkward geek who never sees himself as cool as the people around him do. The rest of the story notwithstanding, it is always enjoyable for me to watch characters like these grow and step into their confidence and full potential. It’s a classic and well-used storyline for sure, but that’s because people respond to it consistently. He holds the heart of the film tenderly in his charmingly goofy expressions and timing. On the other hand, Nicholas Cage delivers what we’ve come to expect from him, a quirky, oddity of a person, yet performed with the commitment and dedication that can almost only come from someone equally quirky and odd in real life. Cage has made a long and prolific career from taking roles almost no one saw as playable and inserting a real person where only a caricature was found before. That being said, if you weren’t a fan of him before, he doesn’t add anything here that will sweep you to the other side.
With the good stuff resting comfortably above, here are some of the downsides to this spellbound selection. Numerous plot holes are completely ignored as the movie races to keep up with a fairly energetic pace. This actually pales in comparison to the story points and moments of character development that could’ve been easily achieved if the writing was just that much tighter. In scene after scene I felt there were set-ups that were not paid off and you just feel the air slip out of scenes that had real potential. The ending makes painfully little sense when weighed against all the information given throughout the film and you once again feel things really needed to play out a different way to achieve full redemption. I’m not going to say the version playing out in my head would’ve worked better, you never really know, but it certainly made more sense to me.
The End of the Page Recommendation: If you are a real fan of either of the two main cast members, this should give you a smile somewhere along the way, but keep some change in your pocket and catch the matinee (or even wait until DVD).
What did you think? Feel any comparison’s to National Treasure? Where does it rank on you Cage scale?
Posted 1 week, 3 days ago at 10:28 am. Add a comment
Trilogy? No one said anything to me about a trilogy?
Rating: 5 out of 10
There is a certain extra effort that has to be put in when adapting video games to the screen. You can’t just grab the plot from the original video game, because a large part of your audience will be completely bored. On top of that, you run the risk of them beating the game in a much more efficient way than the movie plays out. Yet, you have to keep certain elements, mainly the origin story of your main character, which then creates particular boundaries on where the story can unravel. As I mentioned recently, this can go very bad (ala Super Mario Brothers), but the original Mortal Kombat proved delightfully entertaining, even with the odd novelty of Christopher Lambert as Raiden (Really? Who cast that?). The adaptations have been getting increasingly high concept and high budget as the games themselves break new ground for imagination and technology, which leads us to this weekend’s entrant into the genre, straight from the gates of the fabled Mouse House, Disney.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time grabs the main character from the original game and sets him on a quest to not only clear his name for a murder he did not commit, but also uncover the magic behind a mystical dagger which can reverse time for those lucky enough to possess it. Enemies surround our hero, some lusting for the power of the dagger, while others are more honed to collect the large ransom on his head and he finds himself with the most unlikely of allies, a beautiful princess of the kingdom he just helped overthrow.
Prince of Persia is entering a void left open by the downfall of the Mummy franchise, the critically abysmal last chapter of Indiana Jones and the mostly forgotten (or consciously blocked out) attempt to begin the Dirk Pitt domination of summertime adventure with Sahara. A good desert-filled action movie always has a dollar to be earned in the blockbuster summertime season. Maybe it’s the abundance of bright, hot sunshine in the locations, or possibly the presence of sweaty, well-toned actors and actresses in every other shot. Whatever the reasons may be, historical or present day action films set in the outlands of the desert have a genre all to themselves and Prince of Persia is looking to take control of it. There is rumor another Indiana Jones could be in the works (and why not since it made a ridiculous amount of money, who cares that it was terribly painful to watch), but Disney could most likely churn out one, maybe even two more chapters in this series before Indy crawls back to the screens. This summer there is nothing else being offered in this particular arena of actioneers, so the timing is quite well done.
Another big move inside this sand-blown story is the introduction of Jake Gyllenhaal as a viable action hero. While he has shown the ability to buff up his physical presence, in films like Jarhead and Brothers, and handle leading a film with major studio money behind it, like The Day After Tomorrow, all of those had him more focused on his intelligence and humanity than his stuntwork or bravado. Prince of Persia shows off a new side to Gyllenhaal, one audiences once had a chance of seeing years back when rumors floated around about him being cast over Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man (looking back at Spider-Man 3, maybe it was a good thing Gyllenhaal missed being caught up in that web). He very much holds his own here and continues to display his boyish charms, which won him such approval all the way back in October Sky, but now adds this new element of mischievous muscle. When not declaring his purity of character on screen, he spends his time flirting, either with danger or with his coquettish co-star, Gemma Arterton. That combination makes him interesting enough to hold audience attention in between the various action scenes.
But that is where things end in the positive realm of Prince of Persia. While slow motion can be used to exciting effect in some films, this one was wildly addicted to stopping time, not only in the fictional world, but also on screen, mostly whenever Gyllenhaal’s feet left the ground in any type of flip or diving motion. There were also areas where the CGI was incredibly poor and stuck out painfully from the rest of the physical set. This in particular was a disappointment coming from Disney, which knows all too well how to mix CGI and reality (just go back and watch the original Pirates of the Caribbean). Yet, beyond all those things, the one thing which left me more saddened than all the others while I walked back to my car was the weak and unimaginative writing. I will always give credit to any writer for getting something through the system and onto the screen and there is always the possibility that the finished product relates very little to their original script, but Prince of Persia felt older than the desert temples they were filming. There is a fine line between using a previous piece of work as a structure or even in terms of an homage, but this film was a blatant rip-off in my mind of Shakespeare’s King Lear and Hamlet, with a touch of Disney’s own Aladdin thrown in (the opening sequence in Prince of Persia is a near live action remake of the beginning of the animated Aladdin, which means Disney ripped themselves off.) Everything here was too obvious from scene one and that dragged down much of the excitement brought about by the action sequences.
The End of the Page Recommendation: In worldwide gross, Prince of Persia is currently just squeaking by its production budget, so in the end this will be a success, so you can expect another one down the road, but you might see a slightly smaller one, and if that means no Gyllenhaal, it will probably mean direct to DVD. As for this one, a decent summertime afternoon show, but save it for the couch instead of the theater.
Posted 1 month, 2 weeks ago at 12:13 pm. Add a comment
Let’s see their rabid bunny defense system handle this little snack… filled with C4!!!
Rating: 8 out of 10
It seems to be the hidden goal of every idea in the universe to end up in movie form. Whether it started as a TV show, comic book, video game or an action figure (possibly featuring kung-fu grip); everything strives to be blown up and projected to a captive audience. Many of them fail, in extraordinary fashion (ahem… McHale’s Navy, Steel, Double Dragon and Masters of the Universe, respectively), but some break through the barrier of novelty and succeed as memorable theatrical experiences (the recent J.J. Abrams reboot of Star Trek deserves mention, along with the gothic wonderment of The Dark Knight). In the particular world of translating comedy skits, Saturday Night Live takes center stage as the longest running live comedy show with a continually growing treasure trove of material, but they are equally challenged with bringing about quality movies. While many will celebrate the original Wayne’s World and The Blues Brothers, we also hope beyond hope to block out train wrecks like It’s Pat. The newest effort to come out of the SNL think-tank, after a decade-long hiatus, seems primed to ride the wave of 80′s nostalgia, but will it catch hold? Read on…
MacGruber is an absurdist parody of the 80′s adventure show starring the jack-of-all-trades namesake, MacGuyver. In the original SNL skits, each one only ran thirty seconds while MacGruber would ask for random knick-knacks in order to build a bomb-defusing device and save everyone trapped inside a repeatedly locked room. He never fails to distract himself past the point of detonation, killing everyone. The feature length version finds MacGruber yanked out of seclusion into the armed forces as the only one who can track down his arch-enemy, Dieter Von Cunth, who gains possession of a nuclear warhead and plans to reduce Washington D.C. to tiny piles of radioactive dust.
I’ll fully admit the first time I heard they were pushing forward with the idea of a MacGruber feature film, I thought it would be a waste of time, space and celluloid. Yet, months later when that first trailer rolled out I found myself shocked to actually be chuckling and thinking it actually had a shot at being something worth watching. Many people believed it couldn’t be done, that an absurdist parody born from a 30-second skit could never last for over 80 minutes, but writers John Solomon, Jorma Taccone and co-writer/star Will Forte succeeded at just that. As numerous film business outlets have reported by now, the opening weekend box numbers were dismal and some are already calling it the ‘bomb of the year’, a moniker I strongly feel is undeserved, at least not in terms of quality. One of the keys to triumph was pushing each and every joke just a handful of beats past the point of normal, ‘safer’ comedies. Both of the main SNL alums, Will Forte and Kristen Wiig held on doggedly to drain each moment of the last possible chuckle, which for some audience members actually makes it even funnier. I felt Ryan Phillipe was an odd choice for the straight man because I didn’t think he could hold the screen against Forte, but he grew on me during the film and in the end proved that he was indeed willing to ‘go there’ to get the laughs. As for the villainous Val Kilmer and his portrayal of Von Cunth, he’s at his best when his characters are smarter than the rest of the people on screen, and the crowd, and the writers (see Real Genius or Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang). While Kilmer doesn’t come near that level of comedic ownership, he does balance out nicely with the rest of the cast and digs into the second-grade humor when it’s called for.
The End of the Page Recommendation: While it may play out to be one of the year’s biggest box office disasters, MacGruber will ride on and gain a solid life on DVD as a cult comedy, not unlike Hot Rod, starring Andy Samberg, another SNL superstar. No matter what happens, they can always rest easy knowing it’s still better than It’s Pat.
Say hello to my little friends, Laverne and Shirley.
Rating: 7 out of 10
It was only a matter of time until we reached this inevitable moment where the comic book stories started to move away from the radiation-powered heroes and villains to the non-mutant kids that actually read them. Every kid who turned those colorful paneled pages had those moments where they gazed out the window and dreamed of a world where they could fly, burn holes through walls using only their eyes and actually help the good people in the world (or maybe just rob banks, depending on the kid). In the end it was all about wanting to be more than they were – something extraordinary. For some, gaining that elusive feeling meant putting their heads down and burying themselves in study, research and grunt work until they were recognized as experts in their chosen field. Others put on flashy tights. Tomato, tomahto.
Kick-Ass is a comic-book adaptation about a young boy who decides to make the transition from normal teenage wallflower into costumed vigilante justice. Ignoring the lack of any real powers or drive for vengeance, he plows forward only to find himself embroiled in a real-life crime ring, landing himself in the crosshairs of real criminals with real guns who really kill people. There is help though, from a costumed father/daughter pair who mentors him in what it really means to be a superhero.
[A quick disclaimer: I didn't read the original comic series, so this is a commentary on only the movie itself and not how well or not well the adaptation was made. If it was a wonderfully truthful adaptation, that's great, but that only really helps those people in the audience who have actually read it.]
While it starts out with a very Kevin Smith-style conversation, this movie quickly ascends into a level of ridiculousness that separates it solidly from the pack. It’s grows into something more akin to Unbreakable remade by high school kids, but I mean that in a positive way. The viewpoint throughout the film is not looking down or lording over these characters, but it looks from within, through the childlike eyes of what it would really feel like to try and become a superhero and transform yourself into the savior instead of the saved. It’s an old archetypal story — with a lot more spandex and pleather.
The lead character, Dave ‘aka Kick-Ass’ (played by Aaron Johnson), is the moral center of the story and he’s the audience’s window into this world. While his role is integral to the story, as a character he suffers a bit from being the launching pad for the more extreme and entertaining people. Quickly enough we are introduced to ‘Hit Girl’, played with unwavering intensity by Chloe Moretz, and her comically imbalanced dad, otherwise known as ‘Big Daddy’, played beautifully by the constantly working icon, Nicolas Cage. This dynamic duo are the comic book within the comic book, the fantasy within the reality of Dave’s world. Due to the level of violence and brutality these two characters generate throughout their screen time, it was fundamentally necessary to pick people who could play the ridiculous nature of their actions without allowing the characters themselves to seem or feel ridiculous. Cage was a godsend in this respect and there are few people better than him at accomplishing this kind of task. Cage may have become a joke to some, but I think they underplay this man’s range. Go back and watch Leaving Las Vegas, then immediately pop in Raising Arizona. He is supremely talented on both ends of the spectrum. While he might not be getting those prime roles lately, I think that has more to do with the fact he is working non-stop and those roles don’t come along as often versus proof of his decline in skill. Moretz, on the other hand, may be a relative newcomer by some standards, but in her six years of stealing scenes she’s already racked up a ton of voice-over credits and now seems quite poised to take over as the resident precocious, overly-intelligent little sister/neighbor/friend/what-have-you.
As for the man with the plan, Matthew Vaughn only has three directorial credits under his belt so far (Layer Cake, Stardust and this new addition), but all have been incredibly successful in their own right. He continues to do a beautiful job of creating the world of the story, both in front of the camera and behind it (he co-wrote the screenplays for Kick-Ass and Stardust). Yet, so far I think his best overall effort has been Layer Cake, the one script he didn’t touch (it was written for the screen by J.J. Connolly, the author of the original book). The only thing I believe this proves is the original author can be better with the cutting knife on their own story than someone else.
The End of the Page Recommendation: Kick-Ass doesn’t disappoint in the ass kicking department, but it borders on repetition by the closing credits. For comic book fans, it’s required viewing, just to relive the fantasies you know you had at that age. Oh, on a personal side note, National Treasure is popcorn genius! Viva la Cage!
Listen here, Ghandi! I want the truth! Where did you hide the Snickers bars?
Rating: 9 out of 10
The moment your cast and crew are announced, the bar is set in the minds of your audience. You tell people that Martin Scorsese is directing a new film and the bar moves up a notch from its humble beginnings. You tell people he is getting Leonardo DiCaprio to star in it, click, there’s one more notch. Then you lay on people that the film is based on a Dennis Lehane novel, which might not mean anything to a majority of people, but once you clarify that he is the author behind such stories as Mystic River and Gone Baby Gone, well, now you’ve got their attention. With a quick glace at your expectation pole, you might find this upcoming film to be teetering near the top, almost daring you to shake it off, which is inevitably what happens to most films in this predicament. The bar gets lost in the clouds and the audiences walk out of the theater staring at the ground; but every now and again the pieces slide into place and you just might find yourself glancing at the tip of the pole through a break in the cloud cover. Now is one of those times (so you can leave the raincoats at home).
Shutter Island is a harrowing tale of two Federal Marshalls called to a lonely island that only houses one thing–a psychiatric institute for the criminally insane. The worst of the worst are sent here because there is no hope or possibility of escape. The marshalls are called in due to the recent disappearance of a certain prisoner, vanished right out of her cell like air. As they being to peel back the layers of clinical observation, polite discreteness and congenial denial they find a labyrinth of deceit underneath. Questions are being asked, but not answered, and the marshalls start to wonder whether they are the ones investigating an actual crime or if indeed they are the ones being investigated.
Reaching a pinnacle in your career is a dangerous thing. With each new project people can claim that it is the best thing you’ve ever done, thereby making your next project pale in comparison before you’ve even begun. In some cases artists under that kind of pressure have just given up, chosen not to fight against their own glory in an effort to eclipse it. Martin Scorsese is surely one who has had to battle against the easy way out underneath the weight of his celebrity. From his early exploits with Mean Streets and Taxi Driver to his recent accolades with The Departed, Scorsese has never given up telling stories. It hasn’t been a consistent rising arc for him, with bumps along the way like Gangs of New York, but his name still holds its ring of Hollywood mastery and clout. In Shutter Island, he reminds people why he got that name recognition by going backwards in style and substance, back to the earlier days of thrillers and chillers. Shutter Island plays itself out much more like Hitchcock or Kubrick’sThe Shining than anything in today’s cinematic landscape. Scorsese’s breadth of past experience comes to the forefront through his tonal control and tempo while twisting his audience into his personal web.
One of the glorious moments in cinema is witnessing an acclaimed director find his muse. Although there is an overtly sexual tone to that idea, as in Tarantino and Uma Thurman or Rodriguez and Rose McGowan, it is not always the case. Furthermore, very few directors can find two in one lifetime. Scorsese has done just that with his early display of works with Robert De Niro and now with his younger go-to-guy, Leonardo DiCaprio, who has starred in four films under the Scorsese banner: Gangs of New York, The Aviator, The Departed and of course, Shutter Island. The best thing about this dynamic duo is they seem to be bringing out the best in each other. Although The Departed was fantastic, I actually think DiCaprio’s performance here was more demanding and more fulfilling. The same goes for Scorsese, although I feel Shutter Island is more on par with The Departed instead of outdoing it. Other actors also gave their all in this twisted mind-bender, like the always rewarding Mark Ruffalo, the continually mischievous Max von Sydow and the man with an unending sense of power and grace, Ben Kingsley. Everyone played their parts with extraordinary poise and gratitude for the other actors on screen and watching that ability to share the spotlight never fails to delight.I would also be terribly remiss if I didn’t give accolades to the great cameo monologue by Jackie Earle Haley. Very rarely does a man disappear from Hollywood for such a long time and then erupt back on the scene and make us wonder, “How the hell did that guy get away from us before?” I don’t think we’ll be making that same mistake twice.
The End of the Page Recommendation: If you are a fan of Hitchcock or the original The Shining, you should fit right in on the island. If you are not someone who enjoys a good twist, well, maybe just check out The Island instead. No thinking required in that one.
Posted 4 months, 2 weeks ago at 8:56 am. Add a comment
Why yes, it is called the Dude Ranch. Why do you ask?
Rating: 7 out of 10
With mere days to go until the Academy Awards, I’m doing my best to find and witness screenings anywhere and everywhere of the nominated films. I’ve missed a few due to the insane schedule I am currently keeping, but I was lucky enough to have a good friend offer me passes the other night for this country music moment on film that has many people raving. I jumped at the chance, strapped myself into the comfy padded seats of the screening room and here’s what came out of it.
Crazy Heart is a tale as simple and heartwarming as your favorite country tune. Bad Blake is a true country musician; smoking, drinking, loving and putting it all into his songs. He once had a shot at the big time, but life took a turn and he finds himself playing roadside bars and bowling alleys left behind by time itself. As a favor to a local musician, Bad allows himself to be interviewed by a young woman, who in turn finds herself drawn to the power and passion of his character. Yet, like in all country tunes, rocky times hit hard and Bad Blake is tested to see what kind of man he can become and if anyone will accept him if he makes it to the other side of the bottle.
First off, let me say it is dangerous for me to watch a movie about country musicians because the soundtrack gets stuck in my head and I become forced to admit to liking country music. I know deep down that there is nothing at all wrong with that, but when I was growing up country music was thought of as for old people and those who were mad about losing the Civil War. So I feel it is with a certain sense of renewed maturity that I applaud the wonderful soundtrack in the film and admit to humming the tune of Fallin’ & Flyin’. While I may have buckled on my childhood ban on country music, I am still holding strong to the fact I look terrible in a cowboy hat.
Now, on to the real review. Crazy Heart is another of those truly touching films that begins and ends with the main actor. Jeff Bridges schools Hollywood once again with what it is really like to envelop a role, live it in front of a camera and make your audience forget you, the actor, even exists. Bridges seems to revel in characters that are out of place in their own time, proven back in the day by roles like Kevin Flynn in Tron (a personal favorite) to the lead in John Carpenter’sStarman. He reached what many believed to be his cult-pinnacle inside the skin of the lackadaisical, prema-chilled sloth-man known only as “The Dude” in The Big Lebowski. In a move that will surely ruffle a few bong-tinged feathers, I report that he might have equaled that achievement with this tender and honest portrayal of an artist left behind by life. Maggie Gyllenhaal co-stars as the young woman who reignites his fire and sets him on the path to recovery. She appears on the screen with a light sense of shyness and an internal blush that radiates under the affections of Bad Blake. Her charm certainly helped keep the character afloat, but Bridges stole the show in almost every way possible. Also lending his status and talent is Robert Duvall as a bar owner and close friend to the down-and-out Blake. There are few people who bring the grit and grind of hard life people like Duvall and his few moments on screen were a continued testament to that ability.
The story itself was simple, but as I’ve said before, even simple stories can be screwed up by too much meddling. Crazy Heart strums all the right notes, but lets the song drag in a few places. I left feeling that the movie itself was not nearly as memorable as the performances.
The End of the Page Recommendation: Jeff Bridges fans should all go through the roof for this film, while those who might not know him as well are bound to get an incredible first introduction to a world-class actor. Check it out if you want to know what “Oscar worthy” really stands for.
Posted 4 months, 3 weeks ago at 10:23 am. Add a comment
Somewhere out there, there is a snack shack waiting for me.
Rating: 4 out of 10
One type of movies has recently been building in the nationwide queue, Apocalypse films. We stared in wide-eyed wonder at the destruction imagined in 2012, felt the weight of despair in the bleak future of The Road and even the magical CGI-fueled paradise of Avatar can be classified as apocalyptic since that was the reason for the human expansion to Pandora. This week we bear witness to a little twist, a holy light in the gray darkness of the cold and dusty future, a film that suggests in the aftermath of what is to come you can only truly survive by pure and unadulterated faith. Nothing like a good dose of God to add spice to the end of the world.
The Book of Eli is a moral fable about a man, most commonly referred to as “The Walker”, who sets out on a journey west to find the one and only safe harbor left in the world for the precious book he is carrying. He crosses paths with the worst and the best (but mostly the worst) of what humanity has become in the wake of some type of nuclear holocaust. The extent of his survival skills is impressive, but it pales in comparison to his determination and resolve to reach the destination told to him only a voice in his head. The road gets rougher as he passes through a town where the man in charge knows all too well the power of the book he is carrying and decides to claim it for his own.
Let’s start out with the nice things first, cause that is just the polite thing to do. As you can see from the picture above, there was a clear choice in visual tone to bring about this monochromatic, muted color palette to the world after the war. There was some incredibly stark imagery and compelling wide shots of our main traveler trekking across sheer emptiness and ruined wastelands. I was quietly pleased with that portion of the film, and only that portion, until I was reminded by the ending credits that this cross between Mad Max and The Road was directed by Albert and Allen Hughes, otherwise known as The Hughes Brothers. Looking back at their last film, From Hell, I suddenly put together all the pieces. The Book of Eli succeeded and suffered in the exact same way.
The Hughes Brothers have developed a style of powerful visuals and interesting color schemes, but they seem to forget about the rest of the recipe. The story lingers on in a menacingly slow fashion, broken up by frantic acts of violence, but a real ebb and flow is never truly achieved. Also, I will hold back all inclinations to what the third act twist is, but just know it left me extremely disappointed. I stand by the idea that films win or lose their audiences in the last five minutes and I was not only lost, but banging my head against the wall in order to develop short term amnesia. There were a good handful of ways the story could have ended, but they went with honestly the worst of the bunch.
In terms of acting, I actually thought Denzel Washington had a few really impressive scenes and it was nice to see him a little bit outside of the cocky, tough guy role that he was pigeonholed into over the last decade (like Man on Fire, Inside Man and his oscar-winning turn in Training Day.) Mila Kunis also stepped up for most of the film, yet I lost her when she started to become the rough and tumble chick again. She has a self-assuredness and confidence to her which works really well, but once she starts packing heat and sliding into some femme fatale position (ala Max Payne) she ends up a caricature instead of a character. Lastly there is Gary Oldman, who really has been playing parts like this for years. It’s not his best work by far, but even with that said, he still commands attention when on screen. His performance ended up making me imagine he was playing his same character from Leon, just many, many years older.
The End of the Page Recommendation: Honestly, I love religiously themed movies, especially if someone involved is carrying a crazy sharp machete, but this felt heavy-handed and preachy. A vain attempt was made at the end to balance that out, but it failed to remove the weight left by the previous hours. If you can get a copy of the actual 35mm film, find some of the really pretty shots, blow them up into posters and just be happy with that.
Posted 6 months, 1 week ago at 7:06 pm. 2 comments
For most guys out there are a few words which automatically generates excitement-filled jitters: football, swimsuit issue and ninjas. Pick any single word out of that group and you have an instant “guy flick”, so Ninja Assassin was primed and ready to dominate the male viewing market for the holiday season. The star on the Christmas tree was momentarily replaced by the four-pointed Shuriken of the black-masked killers of old. In situations like this, it’s best to open your presents very, very carefully. They might be sharp.
Ninja Assassin is the story of Raizo, a young man who was stolen from his family as a child and raised as a highly trained assassin for one of the notorious “Nine Clans.” Hardened by vicious training sessions and continued psychological abuse, Raizo grew to be the best of the best, but when he is pushed too far by his master, Raizo chooses to not only break from the clan, but dedicate the remainder of his life to killing the man who trained him.
Adding to the anticipation of this martial arts showcase was a few key people, both in front of and behind the screen. Donning the visage of the prodigal ninja son is Rain, a major Korean pop-star who sold out one of his first U.S. performances in New York so fast that they added another night and he was joined on stage by such American hip-hop powerhouses as P. Diddy, Jojo and Omarion. He was named one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People back in 2006 and labeled “the face of pop globalism”. No matter what the box office numbers are here in the U.S., you can guarantee this will bring in barrels of foreign market money. This was not his first foray into American movie-making; that would be last year’s box-office disappointment, Speed Racer, where he played Taejo Togokahn. That might not have given him the most auspicious beginning, but he gained the appreciation of producer Joel Silver and directing wonder-duo Andy and Larry Wachowski. The Matrix-trio saw something in Rain and decided he needed a starring vehicle to properly introduce him to the world outside of Asia.
In terms of performance and dedication, Rain brings it. Tremendous action skills, peak physical condition and a boyish charm help Rain succeed in certain areas of this flick, but unfortunately the story foundation underneath him was not incredibly well-formed. In essence, the scenes were flimsy chain links connecting one action scene to the next. As much as I enjoyed the slicing and dicing, I had to bite my tongue during the arduous dialogue-driven plot points. Sometimes we don’t need plot or story to keep the interest alive, but the flashy quick pace of the action scenes only served to make those moments where someone wasn’t being separated from their limbs that much slower.
Also, a continual annoyance throughout the film was the CGI blood effects. It was overly bright red and liquidy, even bordering on cartoonish. It continually detracted from the intended coolness of this razor sharp ninja extravaganza. I’m not sure why they chose this method for pretend bloodletting, but whatever the reason was it failed to hold up the dark and deadly mood. On the other hand, from the get go various enemies of our quiet and brooding hero find themselves sliced into two, three or possibly more pieces. The dismemberment allowed for some much-needed chuckles, keeping the dark visuals of the flick from making things too serious.
The End of the Page Recommendation: Ninja Assassin has the action-flick chops, but the silly looking blood effects and flimsy story fail to help link the action scenes together into anything memorable. Popcorn fun, but the only thing I really came out hoping for is that Rain finds himself a better script for his next time out.
Posted 7 months, 3 weeks ago at 6:14 pm. Add a comment
Yes, this is the only facial expression I have. Why do you ask?
Rating: 2 out of 10
At the screaming and preening delight of tweens across the nation, the second installment of the uber-popular Twilight franchise hit the screens at midnight Thursday and proceeded to break numerous first-day records. Leaving Dark Knight in the dust, New Moon separated tween parents from the money in their wallets at a rate of $72 million dollars in the first 24 hours. It slipped a little bit in the weekend total and five-day gross, so in the end Dark Knight and a few other choice films still rank higher, but Summit Entertainment and Twilight fans alike know their precious franchise is very much alive and cemented in cinema futures for the next few years.
For those who might not already know, New Moon takes the love story between Edward and Bella and drops in the ever-so-popular third wheel, Jacob. Edward bails from the gray and rainy world of Forks because he believes he will only end up hurting Bella more and in his absence Jacob grows to be more than just the nice kid form the reservation. She allows him to drag her up from the depression Edward left her in and finds herself caught even more now in the middle of not just a battle for the hearts of two men, but two monsters as Jacob reveals he too is more than meets the eye.
Let me just tell you all up front that after seeing the first Twilight film and finding it to be fairly abysmal, I borrowed all four books from a co-worker and read them over the period of a week. My reason for doing this was I wanted to know if all the blame for the movie’s faults could be laid upon the shoulders of Catherine Hardwicke and her newly famous cast, but I came to realize that not all of it was hers to bear. That shared responsibility continues in this new chapter as the reins got taken over by Chris Weitz, who last graced the screen helming the CGI-cluster bomb The Golden Compass (another example of shared blame between director and source material). So to be fair, the volume of issues there are in this film are not with the movie alone, but with the source material it is born from.
My main and most pounding issue with New Moon is the length. There is no reason for nearly two-and-a-half hours of this. If you cut out even half of the strained dramatic pauses in every piece of dialogue, this could possibly make the cut as a one-hour TV special. Not a single person in the film seems to be able to finish a sentence without stopping and staring at something or someone, forcing unnecessary importance on what they are about to say next. Again, this is inherent in the books, although in that medium, you as the reader can just choose to read faster (which admittedly, these are incredibly fast reads). In the darkness of the movie theater you are trapped, glued by the increasing price of the movie ticket you bought to get in, to stay there and suffer through page after page of visual ellipses.
Secondly, when I was finished with the books I actually had hope for this movie because I felt it was the most enjoyable of the books. The relationship that grows between Bella and Jacob is actually the only relationship in the entire series that you get to witness blossom and actually believe in. Bella and Edward seem to fall hopelessly and endlessly in love with each other from first glance and they spend the next two-thousand pages trying to prove it to each other, but as a reader and audience member we don’t get to really witness that journey. It all feels too heavy without any foundation. Unfortunately, after only one pleasing montage of Bella and Jacob, the super-buff best friend spends the rest of the movie taking on every boring and melodramatic trait of his vampire nemesis. Long stares, brooding glances into the distance, gruff sighs between each and every word. Be still my beating…oh wait, it is still, aw crap, this movie put me in a coma.
Lastly, without dragging this out too long, New Moon actually increases one of the main problems from the first chapter; Bella is not a likable character, not in the least. Without being able to root for her, we can’t honestly route for either of the pseudo-men fighting for her affections. She mopes, whines and is overall gloomy from front to back in this film and she gives you nothing to attach to in order to want her to be happy.
In terms of the acting, it’s patently unfair to critique these people on performances largely hobbled by the books themselves. Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are all suffering from what I politely refer to as “The Star Wars Prequel Phenomenon.” After those movies, hordes of people walked around tearing apart Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ewen McGregor and Liam Neeson, but true movie fans knew all along that their horrid performances were not accurate representations of their actual ability. It’s just what happens when talented people are stuck in untalented movies. Kristen was redeeming in Adventureland, Robert got amazing reviews for Little Ashes and Taylor, well, he might not have a ton to his credit yet, but he’s the only one who actually seems to have the ability to shine at all in this franchise, so I expect big things from him once the caskets are finally snapped shut here. Even the addition of an acting prodigy like Dakota Fanning didn’t raise the bar even an inch (although to be fair, she gets approximately four minutes of screen time in this chapter; she’ll be much more featured in the ones to come). The reality of the situation is hidden just beneath the surface during a particular scene where Bella and Edward are in class together and everyone is watching Romeo and Juliet. This is high school melodrama, this is uber-heightened puppy love built up beyond all possible boundaries and while that works for classic stories like Romeo and Juliet, New Moon and it’s associated books fail completely to even dip their sparkly-toed feet into such hallowed waters.
The End of the Page Recommendation: Obviously Twilight fanatics don’t need to read a review to figure out whether or not to see this, but for the rest of the reading audience, if you haven’t read the books, this is not going to bring you anything but confusion as to why it’s making such ridiculous money.
I know you’re the new guy and all, but seriously, do you have any idea what’s going on in this story?
Rating: 6 out of 10
Animation for many years in this country has been relegated to the realm of children’s movies and that fact has happily and successfully been pushed forward by Disney, Dreamworks and the reigning king of cartoons, Pixar. I have nothing against any of these companies in terms of the style of animated movies they create; many of them are personal favorites of mine (I’m looking at you, Finding Nemo), but it’s very rare to find an animated film created solely for the more mature audience. Japan has been doing this for decades with their Anime industry (although they admittedly push this fact beyond my point by stretching into the actual adult or porn industry). These movies tell more dramatic stories, harbor a darker tone and don’t always end up filled with shiny, happy people (or fish, aliens, ogres, whatever the case may be). There are stories that can be told in truly amazing fashion through the art of animation and I yearn for the time when the American market opens itself up to those opportunities. Loading all that responsibility onto the shoulders of one film is surely too much, but I believe each one that lands on the streets of Hollywood helps pave the way for the next one, so let’s take a look at the next brick in that road.
9 is a post-apocalyptic tale about man versus machine. Artificial intelligence has once again turned against its creator and gone rogue, forcing an all out war between humans and machines, except this time humans got the short end of the stick. The only chance the human race has left rests in the cloth-made hands of nine small dolls, created by an inventor with skills in dark magics and then infused with pieces of his own soul. Each one has its own personality and the whole group must find a way to work together to rid this dead world of the mechanical scourge.
Directed and written by Shane Acker, 9 is a beautiful example of the power of animation. Sprawling landscapes mixed with devastating futuristic imagery makes for an impressive visual delight. Unfortunately, to live up to the dramatic power of the animation, it needed to be backed up by the strength and coherence of the story and that is where Shane fell quite short. Post-apocalyptic stories are nothing new, stretching from Mad Max to Wall-E (yes, it actually qualifies), but 9 brought a new twist to the “world left behind” because it was now seen and acted upon only through the eyes of small living puppets. The initial idea showed great promise, but the execution failed to live up to it.
Right from the beginning, the main character, who is named 9 for the number on his back, runs an illogically rapid pace from waking up in a completely new world to full understanding of his surroundings and making wild decisions affecting the entire group he finds himself with. He stumbles around nearly blind to the consequences of his actions, but he does it earnestly and with conviction so we are supposed to root for him. Unfortunately, you just end up feeling like he is chaos in a small cloth sack. Other characters, such as 1 (the power hungry leader) and 8 (the oafish brute), are also somewhat hard to get behind, even when they try to mean well. On the up side, 3 and 4 (twin catalogers) and 7 (the female rogue adventurer) are quite interesting and come along just at the right time to pick the movie up from the doldrums. As for the remaining puppets,2 (the curious inventor), 5 (the one-eyed underling) and 6 (the partially crazy artist), they were all done well, but not given enough to do in order to fully draw in the audience.
One obvious way to notice the particular failings in this film is how long it feels despite being so incredibly short (it only clocks in at 72 minutes). Some of that feeling comes from the twisting, jumping and seemingly unconnected leaps of faith the logic makes throughout the film. If the road of understanding breaks underneath the feet of the viewer, they have to spend all the more time finding their way across.
The End of the Page recommendation: If you’re a fan of animation, try to see this in the theater, since it really does deserve to be viewed in the best fashion, but for those not in tune with the world of more adult-themed animated films, I’m sure there is a new episode of CSI: Anytown USA on somewhere.
Posted 10 months, 1 week ago at 10:47 am. Add a comment
One of these guys already saw wardrobe that morning, the other just showed up to set. Guess which is which.
This Benihana is officially closed for business. 
Yes, this is the only facial expression I have. Why do you ask?
I know you’re the new guy and all, but seriously, do you have any idea what’s going on in this story?
DandyID
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