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Aliens to Alienation: A Day in the life of…(4/7)

1 – The true secret to this interview about the existence of aliens is the fact it seems to be done inside a Wal-Mart, which coincidentally is where all people who believe in aliens go to shop. I think it’s because we believe that little rollback smiley is a captured alien creature from aisle 51. [via Pandachute]

2 – Coming to a town hall or public fairground near you, the return of Warrant! If they toss in free cotton candy with the ticket price, i’m there. [via Starpulse]

3 – Everytime I see pictures like this of crazy house designs, especially floating ones, I feel like completely redecorating my room. Then I get distracted by something shiny and forget what I was thinking about. [via JoshSpear]

4 – I’m going to hire a private investigator to make sure these people aren’t watching me. This is like looking in the mirror: [via Garfield Minus Garfield]

5 – I really think I could watch a whole movie just about Scrat, but I suppose they need more star voices to boost the budget, especially since Scrat basically has no voice. If he did really speak, I’m sure it would sound like Pauly Shore and I’d be hugely disappointed. Either way, here’s a link to the new Ice Age 3 trailer. [via FilmDrunk]

6 – Clinton’s top strategist has stepped down from her campaign amid a huge number of public blunders and fights inside the team. The latest one covering his appearance in meetings about a Free Trade agreement with Columbia. I’m no political guru, but this is only the latest in a line of people stepping down, removing themselves or being let go from the Clinton campaign. Not exactly the sign of a strong team. [via CNN]

7 – Do know what you are really saying when those cute catch phrases come out of your mouth? Check in with this article on Cracked.com and you just might be surprised what you find out. Turns out, you actually got married in third grade. Seriously. [via Gorilla Mask via Cracked]

8 – Want to stop the TV from being the focal point of your living room? Want to seem more cultured while still being able to check in on which WWE wrestler is currently smashing an audience member with a chair? The solution to your social ailments is here. Personally, I think the perfect touch is to use this product with a nice velvet printing of those dogs playing poker, but on mine you can totally see the bloodhound is cheating. I never trusted those dogs. [via swissmiss]

9 – How many times in your life do you get to read the phrase, “Raise your hands and step away from the Hedgehog.“? Those are days when you are happy to wake up in this weird and wacky world. [via CNN]

10 – I think there are people in this world who need a little reminder lesson in the meaning of the word Respect, so here you go, please make note cards so you can keep the meanings fresh in your mind:

–verb (used with object)

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Fake G.I.Joe’s to Real G.I.Joe’s: A Day in the life of…(4/4)

1 – Two more big names have been added to the G.I. Joe roll call. Brendan Fraser is reportedly doing a cameo as Gung Ho, while Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will be coming on as Shipwreck. Seeing both these people dropped into the film is a boost to my interest, but the character choices seem a tad mixed up. “The Rock” seems perfect for Gung Ho, while Brendan seems more suited for the random comedy from Shipwreck. Ah, who am I kidding, as long as their is some dude behind a blue hood screaming about Cobra taking over the world, I’m gonna be thrilled. [via ComingSoon]

2 – This is probably only truly funny to a small group of people, but one of them is me, so I get to post it. It’s a mash-up video of footage from Spongebob Squarepants and audio from an anime title called Deathnote. Even if you don’t know that particular anime, if you ever wanted to see Spongebob go psychotic from power and corruption, it’s worth a chuckle. [via GorillaMask via CollegeHumor]

3 – Foamy the pissed off, ranting, singing, vulgarity slinging squirrel is back! This time he takes on the topic of ‘Used’ vs. ‘New’ pricing. Well spoken, you tree hopping maniac.

4 – Sometimes people and their creativity scare me. Then what scares me even more is I want to buy some of their stuff. Check out what Jessica Joslin can make with a small amount of metal, musical machinery and bones. I think she might have seen Pan’s Labyrinth too many times. [via JoshSpear]

5 – Here’s a funny story. A crazy out of work actress writes a tell-all book detailing all the crazy people she’s worked with and the morally questionable things they did. This silly woman then publishes the book and gets all huffy and defensive when some of the people mentioned inside get mad about items they labeled “incorrect, blown out of proportion, or just plain false.” The kicker to the story is the woman is then taken to court in England where the libel laws are less strict and she’s made to apologize and pay out a huge sum to a charity chosen by one of her old cast mates. I love happy endings, especially when the hero in the story is Nicholas Cage. Pwned![via Durden]

6 – This rattled me a little bit this morning. An FBI agent has been investigating the death of Sonny Bono, widely believed to be caused by his slamming into a tree while skiing, but this lone ranger has concluded that Sonny was actually the target of a well planned and perfectly executed mafia hit. Seriously? Maybe they had that tree specifically moved there early that morning knowing he would be plummeting down the hill in that very spot. Those would be the most clever assassins in history. Do they get awards for that? [via Starpulse]

7 – It’s like they’re looking in my window. [via Garfield Minus Garfield]

8 – Right on the heels of the Wargames sequel news, now the rumors are flying about a remake of our beloved Johnny 5 and the story of his birth in our world, Short Circuit. I don’t know why you would go back to this, since the humor and amazement over AI is nowhere near the place it was twenty years ago, but their first step in the remaking process has been to get the two original writers of the film. At least it has that going for it, but if I hear any mention of the robot being Johnny 6, I’m gonna cover the production offices in lava. [via ComingSoon]

9 – This video would have so much cooler if they had shown him actually shooting something with his homemade paintball tank. But, I give him credit for being motivated, ingenuous and honestly a rather scary individual. [via With Leather]

10 – It might seem weird to promote another t-shirt line when I help to run one of my own, but we must think of two things: 1) Helping others helps ourselves and 2) this shirt is just to perfect to not share with the world. [via OMG Tees]

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Reunion to Racket Rage: A Day in the life of… (4/1)

Happy April Fool’s Day, dear readers! My best wishes go out to all of in hopes that you don’t get horribly rooked by conmen on the street or needlessly frightened by the masked psychopath in the alley behind your work. Oh wait, that last guy might be real. Umm…duck. (p.s. since it is the day of not-quite-factual information, my daily sources might also be compromised, so take today’s bits with a grain of salt, then a little pepper, a dollop of extra virgin olive oil, and you’re good to go. Fabulous!)

1 – It’s getting pretty cold in Hell right now because the word on the beat is all five members of New Kids on the Block are going to appear on the Today show this Friday to announce their reunion. Once again, this is another case of negligence. If Obama was in charge, he would never let this kind of thing happen. I hate you, Bush! [via Starpulse]

2 – Nothing is more poetic than a shot of someones feet: [via Garfield Minus Garfield]

3 – Fitting that this bit of trivia would land on #3 since it has to do with possibly the most amazing trilogy to ever come to the screen. The Lord of the Rings? The Matrix trilogy? The original Star Wars? Oh no, none of these can even come close to the power in one pinky toe of Danny Trejo as he and Robert Rodriguez bring us The Machete Trilogy! Those are the tentative plans to expand the fictional trailer inside the Grindhouse movie into a trilogy of films following one man with many knives. Face it, the merchandising practically takes care of itself. [via Film School Rejects]

4 – People are starting to move into the new 90210 remake, while at the same time the price of peach pie and condoms is on the rise. Coincidence? I think not. [via ComingSoon]

5 – Here’s a big End of the Page thanks to The Jaunty Scamp and his review of our Off the Ledge t-shirts. Also, much respect for the name, makes me want to go sailing, but in pursuit of something, not for relaxation. Aargh! [via Shirt On Me]

6 – When the slow motion version of this video happens, I’m fairly positive it’s the devil laughing. Listen at the risk of your immortal soul (or more closely you just might feel bad for laughing at the kid getting knocked out by an exercise ball). [via GorillaMask via Break]

7 – Taking part in the spirit of the day, YouTube has played a wonderful prank that will both scare and delight the mass populace. I’m not gonna give it away (or gonna give you up), but take a moment and jump over to YouTube, then try to play any of the Featured videos. I think you’ll enjoy it immensely.

8 – The other side of Happy-Go-Lucky Wonderland: [via CollegeHumor via Explosm]

9 – This is why I hate April Fool’s Day. I get shown things I actually wish were true (not that this is the most amazing trailer, but I applaud the work that went into such an elaborate hoax): [via FilmDrunk]

10 – Take that McEnroe! The stakes have been raised when it comes to on-court abuse, this time, it’s self-abuse. (Oh, and the crazy dude won the match after going on a seven point rally after this. Advantage = Crazy) [via With Leather]

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Daily Musings 3/12

1 – I knew it. I just knew it. [via Swissmiss]

2 – The website has just been launched for the upcoming trigger happy sequel, Punisher: War Zone. I was saddened by the departure of Thomas Jane from this project since I felt he did a stand up job in the first movie, miles better than Dolph Lundgren in the tragic late 80′s version of this urban warfare comic book. On the good side it is directed by Lexi Alexander, who also helmed Green Street Hooligans, a fantastic little film about soccer hooligans and their fist-fightin’ ways. Not much exists on the new website yet, but keep an eye out, the big white skull of the Punisher isn’t going to be hiding in the shadows for much longer. [via ComingSoon]

3 – Dominic Monaghan, who until recently was playing Charlie on Lost, seems to have grown addicted to the wildlife and jungle setting he was used to on the show. Now he is talking about tramping into the jungles of Nigeria to find the Hercules Baboon Spider, reportedly the biggest spider in the world. I think someone needs to sit this boy down and show him Arachnophobia. We all know giant spiders will plot, connive and use their 8-legged wiles to destroy anyone who gets near them. If Bill Pullman barely made it out alive, Dominic doesn’t stand a chance. [via Starpulse]

4 – You can all sit back and rest easy knowing that at any moment of the day, whenever your little heart desires, you can watch the new trailer for Lost Boys: The Tribe. The return of Corey Feldman is a sign that we are back on the right path as a nation and as a people. [via ComingSoon via MTV]

5 – It was nice while it lasted…Ashton Kutcher’s new show Pop Fiction, where he sets up fake media events to punk the paparazzi and gossip outlets, is now embroiled in a legal battle since the concept of the show is strikingly similar to one that Anna Nicole Smith tried to launch with her lawyer, Howard K. Stern. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this is actually just part of the show and Ashton is ascending to punk guru status, but we’ll wait for the smoke to clear on this one. [via Perez Hilton]

6 – Why couldn’t they have made Los Angeles into a Foam City? I wonder if it would have caused chemical reactions with all the plastic here already. So sad. [via Josh Spear]

7 – I wonder what the nutritional content of air is for the canine form? I must be missing something. [via Perez Hilton]

8 -  Once again, Garfield Minus Garfield captures brilliance for the day:

9 – Oh no, the sh*t is certainly going to hit the fan here. Michael Bay is in talks to helm the remake of Rosemary’s Baby. You thought that child was evil before, wait until he’s armed with 2 shoulder mounted rocket launchers, 3 cans of napalm and a bio-genetic weapon deadly enough to take out a large city. (I’m buying pre-ordering tickets the moment they announce Nick Cage will be playing the baby). [via FilmDrunk]

10 -  I don’t even know what to write about this, but the summary is the parents of a severely retarded girl had her undergo a number of operations to effectively stop her from growing and physically keep her a child for the rest of her life. I tried wrapping my mind around the ethical and moral issues of this, then I heard a popping noise and suddenly forgot where I was born. [via CNN]