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Indeed, Love is a Battlefield

Come on wind, don’t die on me now. *Pfooooo….pfoooo….*

To many around the country and even beyond its borders to the outside world, the fight for marriage equality centers around the formerly progressive state of California and the infamous Prop 8. Prop 8 was voted on and narrowly approved in the November elections, thereby banning same sex marriages in the state. Less than a week ago, a decision was handed down by the California Supreme Court to uphold Prop 8 by a vote of 6 to 1, leaving the ban in place, while a small note of logic and compassion slipped through allowing the nearly 18,000 same sex couples who were married in the brief time of legality to stay married in the eyes of the California legal system. In the amazingly harmonic words of the Canadian a capella group, Moxy Fruvous: “Can’t really call that a loss or a win?”

Let’s be frank here, it was a step back on the road to equality, even with the already performed marriages upheld. Supporters of equal rights for same sex couples rallied all over the state on the day of the decision, chanting and yelling, doing anything they could to keep their spirits up and not let themselves get crushed under the angry, fearful bus of bigotry and discrimination that just ran over them once again. For those of us on the side of equality, we knew this decision was likely. The Supreme Court has a great tendency towards not overturning what they describe as “the will of the people,” but we also knew the justices are all human beings, with the same faults and the same fears, one of which is being looked at unkindly by history and handing down a mass divorce decree for 18,000 couples would certainly not look good in the record books. Being prepared for the likely answer didn’t make it any less disappointing, but it did allow plans to be put in place in case things fell in that fashion.

The discussion now surrounds whether or not to bring the issue back to the ballot in 2010 or 2012. I completely understand the facilities needed to fight this and the finances which must be drawn to keep pace with those who want to see the ban stand, but I can’t see any downside to pushing forward and bringing the fight in 2010. Even if we lose once again, I feel confident ground will be gained and it will only bring us that much closer to success in 2012 (if necessary).

Let’s look at the facts here once more, just as a refresher:

- Although many opponents of same sex marriage use religious rhetoric and diversionary fear tactics, this is not a religious fight. The church has nothing to do with who gets married. The church, synagogue, mosque or temple, doesn’t issue the marriage certificate. In fact, they cannot even officiate over a marriage without getting the aforementioned certificate sent to them by the state. This is a government issue and religion has absolutely no place in the argument.

- Although the case brought before the state supreme court was ill-framed, the fact remains their job is to interpret the law and ensure it is fairly enforced over all its constituents, not just the narrow majority. One of the main roles of government is to ensure the rights of the minority are not trampled on by the majority and this is point for point the failing in this case, not only in California, but nationwide. Beyond the whooping and hollering by both sides here in California, this issue should never have been left in the hands of the states. How can we ever say one state has the right to control who you love while another state doesn’t? Love is not a statewide right, like being able to smoke in a bar. Love is a civil right, one due to every citizen of this nation, no matter if they stand under the rainy clouds of Seattle or bask in the sultry sun of Key West. It is the basic human right to have your love for another person recognized by the government and take part in all the benefits wrapped up in that acknowledgment. There is a case being brought before the Federal Supreme Court now, launched just days before the decision to uphold Prop 8, and the two lawyers arguing for same sex equality are top people from each side of the landmark Gore v. Bush case, which awarded Bush his first term in office. These guys know what they are doing when they approach those hallowed halls of justice and those on the side of discrimination have no clue what is coming their way.

- In most states gay couples can petition and be granted the right to legally adopt children, but are denied the right to marry. Think about that for a second. How does this support a cohesive family unit, one so desperately protected by those against gay marriage?

- Maggie Gallagher, president of the National Organization for Marriage, was quoted after the California Supreme Court ruling saying: “Marriage is worth protecting because it is the way we teach the next generation: children need mothers and fathers.” So, to all those single parents out there thinking right now you are doing everything you can to provide for and love your children, guess what…you’re not enough. You’re not traditional and “nuclear”. You can’t possibly fully provide a loving and nurturing home for your children because you are only half as good as a gender balanced couple. Thanks for trying though. Please drop your kids off at the nearest adoption clinic so they can be fed into the foster care system until they’re eighteen years of age and dropped back into the world alone.

- The national divorce rate is 50%. What exactly is being torn apart by allowing more people the shot at having long fruitful, respectful and loving relationships? Does it look like the heterosexual population is really, truly respecting the “traditional” values of marriage? Those people who wave the banner of sanctity in marriage can come and talk with me once they legally shut down 24-hour drive thru wedding chapels officiated by Elvis impersonators. Reinstill respect and tradition for the straight world first before claiming the gay world is ruining it. Some of the couples who have taken advantage of the right to marry, in California and the handful of other states who recognize it legally, have actually been together for thirty years or more, just waiting and hoping for the day to make it legal and gain the respect and rights of thier country. I would love to see a statistic of how many straight couples make it that long without officially tying the knot.

President Obama did make a number of statements during his campaign pledging support for the rights of gay people all over the nation, both in regards to civil unions and marriage equality and in the realm of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy which forces gay soldiers to hide their true self in order to serve and not be discharged. He has not made a lot of headway on these issues during his brief time in office, but I can honestly afford him some slack on these since it’s easy to see he has other, more nationally compelling issues to deal with (economy crashing, rising wartime violence, spiraling budgetary concerns, etc…). But make no mistake about it, the gay community and its allies, like myself, will not let him forget the promises he made and I fully expect them to be dealt with during his second term, when he won’t have to worry about the need for re-election votes.

I encourage all those who wish to deny the full rights of marriage to the gay community to find a history book, anything from the seventh grade and above. Crack it open and read a couple chapters on the suffrage movement of the 20s, the civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s (pay extra close attention to the landmark case of Brown v. Board of Education where we received the lasting legislative ruling that stated “separate, but equal” was inherently unconstitutional), and toss in a light dusting of the fight for women to serve in the military. If you look close enough, you will see where this modern day civil rights movement is heading. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for supporters of same sex marriages and it is unavoidable, whether you like it or not. History ignored is history repeated and although we would like to think people would see logic, reason and humanity in these early stages, we’ve already read to the end of the history books and seen equality handed down once again to those who most certainly deserve it.

Last note: For the supporters of marriage equality, it can be a touch confusing on how to support financially or with volunteer work since it feels like another grassroots organization sprouts up each and every day. With the people I’ve talked to and the research I’ve done, I happily point you towards Equality California and the Human Rights Campaign. These two organizations are incredibly motivated and connected with the fight, both in California and across the nation. If you want to support the cause, I recommend starting your research with either of these groups.

Change has come…and will continue to do so.

Yes We Did! Yes We Did!

That was the chant last night as I stood in the ballroom of the Los Angeles Hyatt with an overwhelming crowd of Barack Obama supporters. I was given the amazing chance to volunteer and help make the event a success and I grabbed the opportunity with incredible enthusiasm for what the night would bring. I was looking forward to celebrating the oncoming victory with as many supporters as possible. I wanted to feel the rush of joy and hope flow through the crowd when the words “President Obama” appeared on the large projection screens all around us. The energy and excitement that ran through me last night made me realize why it is people get involved in the political process. It was an indescribable moment to be part of a group driven so directly by hope and belief, not money and self-serving ideals. Honestly, I can’t see myself ever going back to the casual observer I once was of the democratic process we are so lucky to be a part of.

That being said, I was saddened to see California’s Proposition 8 pass and ban gay marriages in our state. People who feed on separation and discrimination cheered last night as the measure gained its support, but let me issue a statement to the supporters of Prop 8: Enjoy it while it lasts, your time is coming to a close. It took 8 years for California to overturn Prop 22, which set up the first official ban on gay marriage, and when it passed in 2000 the support was 61% in favor of it, but yesterday Prop 8 only garnered 52% of the vote. Times are changing, people are opening their minds and their hearts to the truth and hope of real equality for all people. The youth of this state made their voices loud and clear, 61% of the 18-29 year old demographic voting against Prop 8, and those youth are going to grow up, they are going to start their own families and pass on the lessons of equality and love and in time their children will also gain the right to shape their state and make their voices heard. It may take months or years to once again remind people of the unconstitutional nature of this ban, but it will happen. The dark cloud sitting on top of California right now is a passing one and in due time we will all bask in the sunshine of equality, togetherness and real love for our fellow man.

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CA Proposition 8: Bigotry in Disguise, Just in Time for Halloween

On Nov. 4 people around the country will take place in one of the most monumental elections, and possible power shifts, in United States history. Much of the media exposure has rightfully been surrounding the race for the White House and our next Commander-in-Chief, but here in California, along with Arizona, New Jersey, Florida, North Carolina and Pennsylvania, citizens will also be voting on a number of different propositions including one which will create a Statewide Constitutional amendment defining once and for all marriage to only be recognized as being between a man and a woman. This clarification is being asked for by those against sharing equal rights with gay people who only want to get married and be recognized as such by their state governments. Let’s just look at that for one moment and I’ll put this into even simpler terms, the people voting yes on Prop 8 (as it is known in CA) are “prejudiced against one or all members of a particular group based on negative perceptions of their beliefs and practices or on negative group stereotypes”.

That last part is in quotes because it is the recognized government definition of a bigot.

I don’t toss harsh words around lightly and neither should anyone else in this battle of opinions, but this current fight to pass Prop 8 is too serious and life changing to be taken lightly. There is no reason, I repeat, no reason, to deny the right and pleasure of marriage to anyone, no matter their sexual preference. I have yet to hear a single argument in favor of this backwards and divisive proposal that was based on a shred of logic. One of the first things I heard coming from the other side was giving gay people the right to marry would be the beginning of the end for society as a whole. The Day of Reckoning would be upon us. Well, first off, we heard that in 2000 as well and nothing happened, and now others are saying it will be in 2012 at the end of the Mayan calendar. So something tells me if the end of society is around the corner, it’s not going to have anything to do with a couple of women wearing matching rings. Then comes the discussion around the end of procreation, since two men obviously can’t do it on their own. This is my favorite piece of paranoia since it makes even less sense than the world coming to an end. From 1959 to 1999 the population of the world doubled from 3 billion to 6 billion. According to the latest data from the U.S. Census Bureau the population is as of today at 6,730,193,803 and will crest 9 billion by 2040. Does it really seem likely that granting gay people the equal and fair right to marry will drop that number to zero? Do they picture in forty or fifty years the entirety of the world will disappear with some small surviving population of homosexuals laughing as their plan of world domination and destruction comes to fruition? This is text book fear mongering tactics and if they weren’t catching the attention and belief of so many people I would honestly believe it was a comedy skit. Tossing some more logic onto this, lesbian couples can most certainly have biological children of their own by choosing a donor or going to sperm banks and gay male couples can either go the surrogate route or adopt. There is never going to be a shortage of children to adopt, mostly born from heterosexual relationships who either didn’t want to or didn’t care enough to take care of them on their own.

Next we’re told that this is going to force parents to allow their children to be taught in school about acceptance of gay people and the homosexual lifestyle. I can understand their fears here. I’m not expecting everyone in the world who is homophobic to suddenly change, most of them will never change in their lifetime, but we can start doing our best to shift the incoming generation to a place of acceptance. Please notice, I said acceptance, not encouragement or enlistment. No one is trying to turn kids gay. The only thing kids should be taught is that it is not right to hate or discriminate against someone for who they choose to love.

Love. There is the real key to this whole debate. Supporters of Prop 8 argue they are protecting the sanctity of marriage. Here’s a few facts about how well the heterosexual population is protecting the sanctity of marriage right now: The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%, the divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%, the divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%. Exactly where is the honor and praise for the sanctity of marriage in that? Were all those couples just confused about what sanctity meant? Or maybe they just got it wrong on the first one, or second one, or third one…

The value and strength of marriage is not based around the genders of the people involved, it is based around the love and support they share and the desire to spend the rest of their lives together. Let me go back for one second and repeat part of that, the rest of their lives together. If a gay couple can make it the rest of their lives together, still as in love as they were when they first got married, it just might be time for them to start teaching classes at your local community college. As for children, it is in homes and families that cherish, celebrate and teach love where they will get the best upbringing, and those homes can be with straight couples or gay couples, it doesn’t matter in the least.

In California, this proposition was actually passed in 2004, but when it got up to the State Supreme Court is was overruled and deemed unconstitutional. I won’t claim every judge on the bench is a perfect human being, they are normal people and subject to faults, but in this case the only fault they were guilty of is having a conscience and following their moral compass. As a nation we have strove to end inequality decade after decade, generation after generation, and I hope that in the next generation we won’t even have to debate about this topic anymore because it will be the norm by then. Children will have grown up in a world not based around negative stereotypes and fear mongering, but a society of acceptance, understanding and respect.

If you’ve made it to the end of this political and social rant/essay, I appreciate your attention and thank you for reading. In no way am I trying to offend those who have their own beliefs about the homosexual lifestyle, just educate those who might be hearing differing facts on the subject. Also, not that this should matter, but I’m not gay or classify myself as a liberal. I’m a moralist and this is a simple clear case of right and wrong.

Click here to read more and donate to the fight against Prop 8.

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Clinton’s fuzzy memories

In a continuing effort to put herself out in front of Obama, Hillary spoke at a press conference and referenced a visit she had to Bosnia in a manner speaking to her battle ready nature, something she criticizes Obama for not having experience with. Well, seems she should have thought a little harder about whether a CBS news crew was actually with her on that trip before she started bragging about the “sniper fire” and “no greeting ceremony” that she had to struggle through. Check out the video and witness the blatant lies for yourself.

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Make the time to listen to this: A More Perfect Union

Here’s the video of Obama’s most recent speech. If we don’t elect him as our new President, it will be a national tragedy.

Sad, but true.

I can only hope that somewhere in this generation of people we can make a profound step towards ending the need for moments like this. Big kudos to Ellen for once more putting herself on the line and using her popularity and social tuning fork to influence people towards being good to each other. [via PerezHilton]