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Ninja Assassin: Slicing Through People and Story

This Benihana is officially closed for business.

Rating: 7 out of 10

For most guys out there are a few words which automatically generates excitement-filled jitters: football, swimsuit issue and ninjas. Pick any single word out of that group and you have an instant “guy flick”, so Ninja Assassin was primed and ready to dominate the male viewing market for the holiday season. The star on the Christmas tree was momentarily replaced by the four-pointed Shuriken of the black-masked killers of old. In situations like this, it’s best to open your presents very, very carefully. They might be sharp.

Ninja Assassin is the story of Raizo, a young man who was stolen from his family as a child and raised as a highly trained assassin for one of the notorious “Nine Clans.” Hardened by vicious training sessions and continued psychological abuse, Raizo grew to be the best of the best, but when he is pushed too far by his master, Raizo chooses to not only break from the clan, but dedicate the remainder of his life to killing the man who trained him.

Adding to the anticipation of this martial arts showcase was a few key people, both in front of and behind the screen. Donning the visage of the prodigal ninja son is Rain, a major Korean pop-star who sold out one of his first U.S. performances in New York so fast that they added another night and he was joined on stage by such American hip-hop powerhouses as P. Diddy, Jojo and Omarion. He was named one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People back in 2006 and labeled “the face of pop globalism”. No matter what the box office numbers are here in the U.S., you can guarantee this will bring in barrels of foreign market money. This was not his first foray into American movie-making; that would be last year’s box-office disappointment, Speed Racer, where he played Taejo Togokahn. That might not have given him the most auspicious beginning, but he gained the appreciation of producer Joel Silver and directing wonder-duo Andy and Larry Wachowski. The Matrix-trio saw something in Rain and decided he needed a starring vehicle to properly introduce him to the world outside of Asia.

In terms of performance and dedication, Rain brings it. Tremendous action skills, peak physical condition and a boyish charm help Rain succeed in certain areas of this flick, but unfortunately the story foundation underneath him was not incredibly well-formed. In essence, the scenes were flimsy chain links connecting one action scene to the next. As much as I enjoyed the slicing and dicing, I had to bite my tongue during the arduous dialogue-driven plot points. Sometimes we don’t need plot or story to keep the interest alive, but the flashy quick pace of the action scenes only served to make those moments where someone wasn’t being separated from their limbs that much slower.

Also, a continual annoyance throughout the film was the CGI blood effects. It was overly bright red and liquidy, even bordering on cartoonish. It continually detracted from the intended coolness of this razor sharp ninja extravaganza. I’m not sure why they chose this method for pretend bloodletting, but whatever the reason was it failed to hold up the dark and deadly mood. On the other hand, from the get go various enemies of our quiet and brooding hero find themselves sliced into two, three or possibly more pieces. The dismemberment allowed for some much-needed chuckles, keeping the dark visuals of the flick from making things too serious.

The End of the Page Recommendation: Ninja Assassin has the action-flick chops, but the silly looking blood effects and flimsy story fail to help link the action scenes together into anything memorable. Popcorn fun, but the only thing I really came out hoping for is that Rain finds himself a better script for his next time out.